▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ Look with your Ears♔Listen with your Eyes ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓

If they ask, I'd lie ;)

2012-01-27T23:43:00.006+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!!!!
Sifting through past pictures, as an old practise, for a new collage. How is it that when I came to yours, gave you the audacity to creep into me once again? Oh, that awful feeling you get when you realise all the hardwork you thought you knew as 'letting go' turns out to be much more like mere 'stalling' up of emotions till a moment like this of accidental browsing of pictures of a time when there was me and you.

Or has it always been me? Me and my blind optimism to blame? Of a mess of a fantasizer with the nerve to adore you? How I'd like pretty much to know it was real, of you telling me it was true.

Maybe someday I'll be confessing my foolishness for never letting somebody else in. Somebody else that can be every way fitting and more.

Perhaps you'll never know this is for you, OF you. Many can guess, many would try, but they might end up stunned, say why: its this authentic Asian boy which many foils and perhaps best, a thousand times.
I'll say, I love the way you angle yourself towards me. Gaze with those shadowed eyes. Listened when I've got something to say.

Presently, I tell everyone we are through. That I've not a clue of much about you. Should have known better then to let myself wonder too far,knowing too well that its end is not far from the beginning itself. Here I am hoping you would some day make a re-entrance into my life and you would say [_____________] what I'd like to hear.

As much as I dislike being left hanging, however for my own good, perhaps you should stay away. Given MORE MORe More time, the feelings might just deplete into nothingness, this time, for real. Then again, have I ever proclaimed of being able of letting go of my unwanted things before?

Maybe one da- not too late, I'll find that soloing is also great.

2012-01-04T13:10:00.013+08:00

Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take things for granted.

I give myself a good cry if I needed it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life.

The culture doesn't really encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, - we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? And what if today is as good as it gets? What exactly am I suppose to do with myself? You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won't just happen automatically. but yes - we all need teachers in our life.

Detachment doesn't mean you dont let the experience penetrate you. Detachment doesn't mean I've gone cruel. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. And that's how you are able to leave it, leave the thing that cuts you.

I believe we all yearn in some ways to return to those fireflies catching days when everything out of reach someone bigger brought down to you - unconditional love, unconditional attention. Most of us didn't get enough. And that we all hope to be closer to our family in some ways, inheriting traits we desire but also, avoid being in some ways.

When I took the time, when I can surprise myself with something I never thought I can do -- It's as close as to healthy as I ever feel.

So what if you had one day perfectly healthy? I'd get up early morning, go on a long run, have a lovely breakfast of smoked ham, eggs, pastries and tea, go for a swim, then have bubz come over for a nice lunch. I'd have them come one or two at a time so we could talk about their families, their purposes. Then I'd like to go for a walk, in a garden with some trees and paths with endless blooms, watch their colors, watch the birds, take in the nature that I haven't seen in so long now. At dusk, I would play a long tune serenading the sun: thank you & goodbye for a sunny day. In the evening, we'd all go together to a restaurant with some great pasta, maybe some duck - I love duck - and then we'd dance the rest of the night. I'd dance bare foot in a city made entirely of white-washed stone, in an ancient winery, bottom's up, burning like fire, until I was exhausted. And then I'd go home, welcomed by a touch covered with feathers, a lick so precious, so tender, so Real. Then I'd gaze out into the abyss while the city below keep on, keeping on, like a ring of fire. Falling deeply in sleep. - this is the life I'm seeking for exactly.

I just wish there ain't a thing as too late in life.

A little wind in my sails

2011-12-03T22:11:00.002+08:00

Ok Ok, I know this is a little back-lated as a at-the-moment review of my relief that the A's has finally been done. Well I've been doin' my bit of thinkin' for the past 2 days to organise my thoughts in case I blabber as I did in so many of my posts this year...

:Finally got a whiff of the end of A's this morning when I woke. It's Saturday now, and soon enough friday will be over for good. Normally us kids have it easy- when the books are out, play is in, but I reckon work should be in as well ain't it? but it's okay. At least that means there'll be money coming in too! :D. Have been chalkin' up a list of to-dos after A's (and work) but somehow I just can't get enough of it. I wanna go places, see people, find adventures, drown in exhaustion; that's not too much to ask of is it? Simple things get me excited (like Corrine's lets-go-for-a-midnight-spin-along-the-high-way) and I've been grinning like a kid since morning. Practically beaming. I sound marginally spastic but can you tell that I'm excited? :}

I need to get good reads (stacks of 'em), feels like my brain is shrinking and I'm becoming intellectually challenged. 0.0!!! Need a well-paying job too.

Lana, Meghan, Tin Ling, Julia, Evan, Roger & Ximen met up with me for dinner (Hubie just have to be 18 hours away hee...) lots of laughs as we gave a quick ran -through of our year. With my being the most ... ya'know... 'fun' ..... XD

Anyways, not wanting to advertise but:
if anyone has any part-time job offers that's appopriate and suitable for me LET ME KNOW thank you ohsoverymuch#
and when I mean appopriate I M E A N it. Please save your efforts of attemting to twist my words into gettin' a new hobby for yourself like, say, knitting. .*)

When you're busy & have little to say... ....

2011-10-26T21:30:00.010+08:00

Da swaggeriously decorated new hang-out: eXclusively at cuz Kyle's home/office!
[special thanks to Hermione.... XD]

No better place for my wabbit ears
With Meghanite~
Retail therapy turned shocked therapy: still clueless how that happened! :O
Where creativity brims :D

Oh, one more thing, the FULL version of ALL the pictures taken at my birthday is now up in Ethan's blog... (finally...haha)! So if you've got missing pictures from your repertoir of pictures, you can now cope and add 'em to your collection! For obvious reasons its code-locked so msg him if you've problem viewing.

Love, peace and chicken grease ^.*

Miss September 14th

2011-09-28T23:30:00.016+08:00

Blogger must be hating on me for not posting for such a long time. True story.

Here's proof:
1. the first time I attempted to post the 400 over pictures(yea, that much! excluding polariods & instagrams) for my birthday party, blogger hunged on me when I reached the 5th set

(which equates to 25 photos) And i'm perplexed why blogger can't just program their system to allow limitless uploads like FB did!

2. what happened next was when I ingeniusly tried to steal minutes between vio breaks to blog, some enviromentally-loving soul SHUT DOWN my lappy! WHAAAIIIII!!!!

So yea, this post would definitely have came alot earlier if it weren't shrouded with all the hiccups popping everywhere. And since September is almost over I hope to keep what's about September within September. Phew, this is the THRID time I'm doing this post so there should be ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS AT ALL, RIGHT? I hope I didn't just jinxed that. :X

Alright, into the updates formal:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How's did my 19th birthday go?

Ans: It's pandemonium on the floor! For all who booked the swanky room & celebrated for me. You'd know how I perspired in a fully air-conditioned room, ditched my heels and severed my unicorn's head (the cake FYI)

Q: Who you'd like to thank... again?

Ans: my family for celebrating for me at home with the extra large strawberry cheesecake to last me days after my birthday,

cuzzie-wuz Ting-a-Ling for the awesome unicorn cake (WOW u didn’t drop da cake! ;D ),

cuz Ethan for the fancy dinner/party, more cuzzies Cloud, Si, Eric, Leo....

[Since-we-were-in-diapers-kind-of]: Rigel, Martin, Meghan, Jules, Hubert, Roger, Corrine, Ximen, Elroy, Nat, Augusto, Julia, Lana, Ev, Van....

...... . for all your wishes and crazy presentss.

And basically all I've got to know over the years!

Q: when're you uploading the photos?

Ans: Soon? Perhaps Dec or Jan can-do???? I'm up-to-neck busy these days k, so might take a while~

Alternatively, visit Ethan's blog here .

HAD A GREAT B'DAY. THANK YOU!

and yes, thank u bubz for flyin' out with the artsy breakfast & swaggerlicious pressy x - - - ❥

Can't tell

2011-08-25T22:06:00.027+08:00

It's been a while since I'm here again. Not to be confused that I've forsakened, packed up and disappeared from this blog entirely. It's just that everytime I wanted to start on something, its always annoyingly boycott by something else, say other 'things' I ought to do in real life as opposed to spending time in the cyber world. Nevertheless, I couldn't help myself to indulging some minutes in this therapeutic way of escaping from my surroundings.

Which brings me to one thing you may already/might not know about me: I'm a girl of many phases. Sometimes I work out for days on end, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I go into a violin-practise frenzy, spending an insane amount on time on little details, which when perfected, P.O.W! Rockets me into space. Sometimes I become obsessed with a piece of advice I'm given and stick to it like some code of gold. Sometimes I want to do nothing but watch TV marathons, even if whatever's on air is meaningless and narrow. Sometimes I'd specially make deliberate trips to satisfy my infatuation with certain food and be consuming it for days consecutively. Sometimes I write in my journal every night, then I'll skip a month.. and sometimes... I can be perpetually ill-tempered...

I don't know what I'm rambling on about if you follow. I guess I'm speaking like this because, there's a mountain of things I'm personally unhappy about at this point in time. And you could say I'm trying to steer my thoughts in another direction so I'd stop being such a prude. Maybe I should learn to appreciate the little things around me more (if I haven't been doing so.) Like... being able to breathe and read and write and eat and still have loads of room for possibilities. We should all be positive, learn to cherish what we have and live with a perpetual smile plastered over our faces as much as we can because morbidly, we'd only be here once RIGHT?

ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME.

But I can't help feeling like i'm lacking something. Sometimes I even questioned that even if whatever bonds that was holding me back were released, would I take flight and do all the things I day-dreamed of doing? Or would I've already lost the ability to be fearless and live the adventure and become the tame, docile creature I loathe? I can try to be positive but I can't help feeling uncertain. I can try to be accommodating but I can't help feeling insignificant. I can try to walk the world with these two feet, stand alone and be perfectly all right; but I can't help feeling lonely. Does this not work the same way for you? Do we not all live trying to be a better person, but remain conflicted inside? Perhaps I'm one of those ridiculously unreasonable douches who aren't all that gracious. I wish I could be better, apparently not at the moment.

There: bare, undoctored, unfiltered thoughts. This is: what's on my mind now as I sit here in front of you, amused, as I watch you watch me with that familiar perplex expression, too polite to ask what I was thinking, but too curious to hide the bewilderment within those perfectly contoured eyes. This is me and this is what I am even if I tried to be someone better than this.

So the next time when you feel like saying/or someone say to you: 'I like/love you for who you are', take a moment to re-consider the extent you'd go to mean it. As for the receiver, applaud them for one, among many, bold statements told. :)

We've reach the era where even sponges could afford BMWs. Our society have improved?

Saw this funny caption at the back of this man' polo. Sorwie for stalking and taking your picture..

Tobey & Roger hard at work mixin' my Espagnole track ^^

its pandemonium on the floor, imma make it *

2011-08-01T21:02:00.010+08:00

Hey everyone and anyone!
Happie first day of the month of August!

It's August alright, and it means 2 things to me:

1) I'm moving head-on closer to A'levels

2) I've got 1 month and 14 days roughly to my B I R T H D A Y

2 entity poles apart, i'm deliberating between excitement or groaning... :/
I've been meaning to blog for a few days now, but it just seems like I've either nothing or alot of the same thing to say that I'm afraid I might just be repeating myself on and on and on and on..... until... the End of the year.

Bad dreams... if this makes up any topic for discussion. So, to whoever's reading this, you can just terminate reading this post if you'd rather be doing something else than reading about someone else's dream. You obviously ain't heeding advice or you just love me too much if you've reached reading this point of thick-skinned self-realisation or ... you're just very bored yourself.

Well in short, my nightmares are of restless, murky, sinusoidal dreams that're not only traumatic, it wears you out in the morning as if you haven't even slept...-.-

Contrary to popular believes, there's something comforting, almost therapeutic about being outside, eXposed to the sun as opposed to stayin' in the house glarin' at the walls wishing they would somehow turn invisible... but I suppose not everyone or girl would agree with me on this with their need to stay constantly fair/ or maintain the pale (ghastly) chalky translucentcy of their skin. Well, not for me, I like the shade of tangy sun-kissed bronzy color of the skin. Hee. It's probably the effect of livin' by the coast all my life or just the Californian spirit acting up. Whatever it is, I love it! I think I'd like the idea of livin' by another piece of sand if I were to purchase my own home in future ( ... if I could afford it) ^.*

Xu 哥哥surprised me with an unexpected trip to Singapore before leavin for Taipei 2 days-delayed. Helping me help the rather kinky Kyle move his atrocious amount of belongings to his new pad in Balestier. Phew, i'm glad that's over. Intensezzz.

luckycharmed Pegasus bracelet from Xu, thank youu

Part of the room that's kinda-sorta done.

Old claymore

!!Frozen Yoghurt!!
!!my favourite dessert at the moment!!

nothing like eating Mcdonald's in the car with smooth air-conditioning... Ahhhh~

When you meet with trying times, it's no time to stop trying.

2011-07-21T16:08:00.005+08:00

Morning rush hours can really be tormenting, especially when you're say, ME. Yes me, someone whose on-the-dot punctual or pulsating perspiration from being terribly late. It's not so much the distance or the time taken, but more so the crowd!

Trains get really packed during peak periods (early mornings and evenings). Thing is, it wouldn't be so sickening if everyone just stood in the train properly. I've been taking the train so much for the last week because the car was sent for repairs that I've actually come up with a list of people who should be banned from taking the trains.

1. Newspaper reading neighbours who hardly have a sense of personal space.People who read newspapers. It's okay if you fold your papers neatly and take up little space- but NOT okay when you flip'em open and occupy 3 sitting spaces with your arms. I've sat in between 2 paper readers before. And I was literally breathing the newspapers. How inconsiderate, especially when the train is so crowded! Read it later during lunch!

2. People who lean their entire selves against the handle bars/rails/poles. Some are icky and sweaty. That's just gross. It's already so packed and people need something to hold to keep themselves from falling over but these leaners just leech themselves onto the poles like some invertebrates!! Urghh..!!!

3. People who sit down, and stick their legs right out. Hi, tripping hazard! Some of them don't even bother to put their legs in, even when the train is crowded. Horrible.

4. Rockers- people who hold onto the handrails, and SWAAYYY around. They don't just stand in one spot, but have to lean backwards like as if their surfing/sailing. Excuse me?! And when they bump into you they look at you as if YOU were standing too close (when there's no other space to move to). My goodness.

5. Topple-sleepers who takes you as a pillow- I know that I don't occupy my entire seat, ENTIRELY. But I do occupy a decently significant amount of SPACE. Plus, they don't even topple the OTHER SIDE. If you can't sleep upright, don't sleep. Or at least topply FORWARD. xD

There's more, but now I have to get back to violin.

Trying to continue blogging from my phone. But there's hardly any sense of structure cause the screens so tiny plus it's difficult to type. It's a bloody long journey home. Sometimes the length of the journey seems somewhat insignificant, especially after fruitful hours of sound-pollution done to the shoppers at Katong. It must have been a tough life for some as a result.

Director Ms Wee Li Lin's 'Forever' the movie has launched it's DVD sale last Saturday @ the Earshot Cafe by the Arthouse. So be sure to get it *wink wink* Heard it's a pretty cool spot to just hang out and chill and stuff. But I didnt get to go, cause when it comes to me, it's always a case of having to be at someplace else and doing the 'less' fun thing... damper. Oh, and there's my stop. So I shall end this abrupt post with a picture. :)

Too dalls

*Armoured Rings by E R I C K S O N . B E A M O N* {thanks Ev, love 'em}

Wake the girl who's blind with fear

2011-06-13T22:32:00.008+08:00

Studies been a bitch lately with more and more notes and details to drill into, be gone with the endlessnessof minute refinements and get to the concluding. The stress is like a sickening jingle from a TV advertisement that's been so overplayed it's sicccckening. Yet, you can't say you hate it because there's still some inkling good in it. *sighs*

I'm getting mouldy stuck at home all the time accompanying my books. And the only oher time I do get to go out is for my violin lessons, yet again, under a roof, in another shaded spot. I'm not complaining but like a croc, I too need to bask in the sunshine and get some foc Vitamin D. :/

My mind's been drifting into places it shoudn't even with the massive workload I've got. When I don't sleep, I can't focus. When I sleep, I feel restless because my dreams take me to endless scenes that remind me of things I don't want to remember. Eitherways, nothing seems significant anymore. It seems like the only thing in hand is redemption, to right my wrong, to earn my grace from where I've fallen. Other than that it seems every other thing I do is insignificant, wasted, into garbage material.

Fear, like any other emotions is sometimes irrational, even more so than the other feelings I experienced. It hits you square in the face when you least expect it, and crazy convolutions attack your heart like as if someone stuck a hand in your chest and tried to squeeze the daylights out of your insides. It's annoying, of course, because fear is only an emotion and if your mind's strong enough, you could just ditch it. Still, we're made of flesh and blood- we can't always control how we want/would like/ need to feel.

So what does my fear mean to you anyway? If I tell you, are you gonna laugh at my childish insecurities? Are you gonna harp on it and threaten to blackmail my trust? Or are you gonna hold my secrets in the palm of your hand,tuck them away in secret places nobody knows, shield me in time before I hurt myself? What does it mean to you, really?

So psst, come close, I want to tell you,

everything.

*Here's some pictures to keep you in the loop of what I've been up to:

Trip to Phuket_ time: 9.00 am_location: hotel_after Pete's extremely early morning hike z_z
Have_you_ever_wondered_about_life_at_sea.... fishin' for mermen?!?! xP
Meghan took this as an expression of chilvary while the guys look on with a little more than resignation as they wait while I stared/glared/admired/twist/turn/twirl in front of the long-mirror with the spoilt-choices of bagggs!

Once again, i'm chucked into a shoppers' trolley_
Back to Sg for shoot_

Who says I've lost it, I found it on the underside of my case. :P

If we really want to live, we'd better start at once to try

2011-06-04T13:28:00.002+08:00

Long break from blogging! Been caught up with school books and papers and streams of scheduled violin practises and gosh am I starting to feel nauseous just thinking of all the work. Why am I doing this to myself you might ask? :Because it's worth it! The thought of converting my blog into a picture blog seems contradictory to me since I can always do that on Fb and leaving a one-lined caption looks pathetic when it can be done on Twitter and looks bad on the sincerity I have in maintaining my blog and to those who reads them.

As I was going to say, I went on a diving mission in the waters of Phuket with my coach and confidante, Peter and 7 others that followed up with mountain biking, water rafting and an arduous hike up rocky hills which I must say, I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR ALL THAT! What's supposedly a relaxing holiday turned into some sort of military training which left me covered head to toe in a combination of mud, sludge and sweat by th time we return to our lodges.

Alright, enough of the complains because as always, being Peter, he chose to teach in the most unconventional of classrooms. I learned what is obvious to a child that life is simply a collection o little lives, each lived one day at a time. That a day spent in finding beauty in flowers and poetry and sunsets and summer seabreeze cannot be bettered by a day of city-life retail therapy.

But most of all, I learned that happiness is the consequences of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, and sometimes, in desperate measures, Insist upon it. That one has to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of our own blessings and once we achieved a state of happiness, we must never becom lax abou maintainig it.

it's my fault

2011-04-28T02:24:00.003+08:00

YOU SAID YOU'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME.

BUT YOU'RE NOT

AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ME.....

To you who loved and care for me most I cannot save, I cannot help. All I did was watch your demise to nothingness to someone I can't recognize. I'm sorry I'm so weak, to be tougher... I tried. But I stayed strandled and tortured by the thoughts of better days, of childish days where I knew nothing and there's nothing I need to know more than my next day's homework and violin. The wound you left still fresh. And though people thought that I've gone mad, but after all these years... it seems I still have a tear to shed.

organized mess

2011-04-17T17:11:00.011+08:00

These days, I've been trying to classify my thoughts into two categories:
"Things I can change," and "Things I can't." It seems to help me sort through what to really stress about. But there I go again, over-planning and over-organizing my over-thinking!

I write about my adventures and misadventures of every day events, right to the minute, miniscule little ones that are significant nonetheless. Of which today's category concerns love. Love is a tricky business. But if it wasn't, I wouldn't be so enthralled with it. Lately I've come to a wonderful realization that makes me even more fascinated by it: I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to love. No one does! There's no pattern to it, except that it happens to all of us, of course. I can't plan for it. I can't predict how it'll end up.
Because love is unpredictable and it's frustrating and it's tragic and it's beautiful. And even though there's no way to feel like I'm an expert at it, it's worth writing about -- more than anything else I've ever experienced in my life. And for someone like me who is obsessed with organization and planning, I love the idea that love is the one exception to that. Love is the one wild card.

Of course it's best be safe to draw the line between fascination and an obession. As love can both sink and save you. At best, they merge into one supernova; otherwise, they might fall into an emotional blackhole.

You game for it?
Well... I'm up for another round of sushi at the Belt thankyouverymuch
*if I see you, I eat you, nice eating you* ^.6

skip the pain and get to the healing

2011-04-07T16:22:00.002+08:00

Feeling odd a little deflated and winded…

Sometimes I have been hot-tempered and the one dishing it out… until i become the one at the receiving end of such ferocity do I realise how much it hurts.

Sometimes I have everything going for me and I might be beginning to lose it… it’s high time for some reality check and have me grounded again.

Sometimes I might have too much wind in my sails…
Sometimes you forget that no one owes you a living…

Sometimes you get to level ten and forget that you started off from ground level…

Sometimes you begin breathing the air up at level ten and forget the sights you once saw when you were at level one…

Sometimes you get too big for yourself…
And sometimes you induldge in the love for the pursuit, the adrenaline that comes from pursuing the object of your infatuation you forget about those that loves you without you even having to try.

It’s time for some humbling. Eat some humble pie. Learn to practise restraint, tolerance, and empathy again. Learn to shut up, swallow some pride, take down some built-up walls and ego. Like a wounded animal learns to lick its wounds, pick itself up, and move again.

Wounded and humbled, I’ll lick my wounds, hopefully piece myself back up in place and in better stead.

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?

2011-02-27T18:27:00.002+08:00

HeyO! I'm back after a long haitus. It hasn't really been long, technically no THAT long, but it just felt odd not having any inspiration to write. Especially apologetic for torturing my rabid "fans" from Nashiville & San diego (who happens to not believe in fb accounts :P Chase, Lana, Meg, Ev, Jake..... and the list goes on) sorry for making you worry. I'm alive and well in Singapore and I've not gotten into any serious trouble.....yet. The weather is always warm here, the people-watching is superb, and the irony of it all is dripping like wet socks. It’s like a zoo with exhibits of free-range people. There are so many good musicians here; I like eavesdropping at the lounges and listening to the bands or the jazz singers or pianists. This is a town of professional entertainers. And shopping. The sales are on this week, but I can only look at so many products before I begin to feel hypnotized.

I've been getting myself busy these past couple of weeks. Rather than drowning myself in the ever so commonly heard word "bored". (whoever came up with it never learns to live and those using it needs to get a life... like seriously....) So I figured its time I manage some kind of finance and try earning some cash so I needn't strecth my hands out for money everytime I wanted something like a worthless invertebrate in human-form. So I taught part-time in a junior school, performing and teaching violin free-lance with the occasional tour guide niche at the local museum whenever I needed the extra cash. ;)

This week I gave myself a bit of a mental breather, focusing my musical life only on the practises. In my spare hours, I explored, wandered about the city, bought half-price maxis and gone from galleries after galleries. It was nice to take those luxuries of time and find pleasures in footing simplicity in this complicated, changing world.

You're the kinda reckless that should send me runnin' but I kinda know that I won't get far...

2011-01-24T00:20:00.002+08:00

Real life is a funny thing you know.
In real life saying the right thing, at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I’ve began to fear more than that, is letting the moment pass without saying anything. I think most of us fear, reaching the end of our life, and looking back, regretting the moments we didn't speak up. Wen we didn't say "I love you" to the ones who deserves them. When we should've said "I'm sorry". When we didn't stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help. I think
we deserve to look back on our life without this chorus of resounding voices saying, I could have but it’s too late now. So there’s a time for silent, and there a time for waiting your turn. But if we
know how we feel, and we so clearly know what we need to say. It comes naturally and you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait. I think you should speak now!

Contort, not

2011-01-15T16:01:00.002+08:00

Decisions , decisions ,decisions .
So here i sit , contract in hand . Wondering what new loops of fire I need to jump through in the circus of life .
Should I attempt the next yogini pretzel conformist ,contortionist acclaim or take that blind leap of faith into the deep beyond ? Work wise... i'm stuck in a rut. To play the safe route versus being the vigilant voyager. My pen's not willing to budge . The only thing that's fluid is the memory of mr enigma, whom in my mind ... is like fresh ink still drying...
and in time ...he will be etched onto my mind ,
indelible.

Turns up a miasma of implausible convolutions ...
When you feel like caving into something you know is so wrong ... yet unbridled spontaneity seem to tug wildly at those heartstrings, orchestrating the meek guarded heart beats into an escalated crescendo .... what should one do ? To seek freedom from the known ? Or save oneself from yet another vicious cycle ?
I go to macdonald's and wait to see if chicken nuggets will help ; ) or ... i think about long term probable ramifications versus short-term immediate pleasure . & sometimes the here and now deserves to take priority over what one may think happens later ....
Ultimately . The moments last only an instant .... and the right person who says and do all the right things to match exactly to that moment shall leave a lifetime of memory .
But than again, I wish the glow from my apple-cell would just illuminate the answered smile .

A breath away's not far, to where you are

2010-11-24T00:18:00.008+08:00

It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on by yourself... noo one knows this better than the young. For most, sooner or later, the time comes when some homones kick in and they reached a realization that they must become responsible adults and learn to give up what they want, so as to choose to do what is right. Of course, a lifetime of responsibility isn't always easy. And as the years go on, it's a burden that bcomes too heavy for anyone one person to bear. But still, people try to do what's politically 'the best', what is considered 'good' and 'right'. Not only for ourselves, but for those we love. Yes, to do what is right, we got to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. However, the only difference is between who will let go first and who learns to hold on a second longer to see their wants hold hands with their needs and responsibilities and have everything work out for them.

Life, I realize, is much like a song. In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation, but it’s in the middle where all the emotion resides to make the whole thing worthwhile and it is never ever fair, and so, if they teach anythiing in schools, that should be it. As for love, it is fragile. And we're not always its best caretakers. We just muddle through and do the best we can. And hope this fragile thing survives against all odds. And it is also on nights like this one when I think of you. How we're drawn apart by the balance of things - and I shall never see you again.

These days I haven't been sleeping, staying up playing back myself leaving your ward, clueless that that's going to be goodbye. Cheated? How this is all an illusion like dusk: how the sun is either above the horizon or below it. And that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are there cannot be one without the other yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel I remember wondering to be always together yet forever apart?

Up beyond the distant stars, I wish upon tonight to see you smile. Dear Grandma, I bet you never knew what you have over me: This girl who goes on laughing, talking and smiling just like old times, could be that same girl that crys herself to sleep time after time.

never again

2010-10-19T19:22:00.004+08:00

You're that instant between dreaming and realising it's a dream; the split second between silence and noise; the moment between sleep and awakening. And in that moment, the world is suddenly at peace, where nothing apart from that moment could measure up. But when it's hard to take, those moments sublimes like morning dews to sun.

Those in the dark, sees

2010-10-03T19:05:00.002+08:00

Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us trmendous freedom. but once trust is lost, it can prove to be imposssible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our need for recuse. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned, isn't it?

Vocabulary hasn't found a word steely enough to grasp just how powerful love is. It can sustain us through trying times or motivate us to make our extraodinary break throughs in life. It can force decent men to commit the darkest deeds they will one day wish they had not or compel even the most of ordinary women to search in themselves the most profound of courage to once again accept them for what they are underneath the masquerade. We all search for love, but for some, after they found it, should rather wish they hadn't.

pointless babbles should be made illegal

2010-08-28T23:28:00.013+08:00

The rumours are true,

I deleted my Twitter.

Can you believe i got,

I got so many pals

I had to say adios to,

And this lil' rap is to tell everyone why.

No it wasn't because my friend told me to

Y'all know very well what you say I don't do.

And the reasons are simple:

I started tweeting about pimples

I stopped living for moments and started living for people.

Yeah you write what you're doing but who really cares?

If i'm playing with Banbie or just doing my hair.

Everything that I type and everything that I do

All those sensitive babies think that they're in it too.

I want my private life private, I'm done trying to please

I ain't living for people, no I'm living for me.

No more emo quotes you don't fit me to T

Yeah I'm done with all that and the truth is I'm too busy.

But yeah i got to admit I'll miss Adam L's tweets and I really like looking

at Alice and Kasey's.

I might have some withdraws I was a little obsessed

but I'm peacing out and leaving with this:

Au revoir

Black Velouria

2010-08-20T23:21:00.004+08:00

I go to bed dreaming of the world I once knew so well...... a world of vivid ethereal dreams full of bright lights and endless rainbows, enchanted forests and paperwinged fairies.
Everything that goes on around us that we got too caught up in. The flashy and superficial things/people that disappear quick and fast, like champagne bubbles. That's when you turn and realise what really matters are the fundmentals in life. The subconscious that haunts you in your restless dreams and murky nightmares longing to know that an angel that takes whatever form is and will forever be guarding you feverously from your half-opened window at night.

These few days somthing jerked my memory and I was hoping that you'd have remembered too. The gullible side got the better of me while I helplessly kept my hopes up that you'd have showed some signs you remembered. Guess you're gonna disappoint.

by the truck load

2010-07-22T21:56:00.002+08:00

We all carry something with us. Of course, it's nice if we travel with someone who can help lighten the load. But usually, it's easier to just drop what we've been carrying so we can get home that much sooner assuming, of course, there will be someone there to greet us when we arrive. Why do we clutch at this baggage, even when we're desperate to move on? Because we all know there's a chance we might let go too soon.

And so now and then, we all need a little help, so we ask for small favors. But it's always best to be wary of those eager to come to our rescue. Because even the smallest of favors carries a price tag. Yes, everyone has an agenda. No matter what they may tell us. And in those rare instances where there is no ulterior motive we're so taken aback that we may fail to recognize the truth that a loving friend has just done us an enormous favor.

They asked me why I believed in you

2010-07-12T22:25:00.005+08:00

Everyone in the world needs someone they can depend on. Be they faithful chums, determined advocates or a loving family. But occasionally in life, the people we thought would always be there for us... leave. And if that happens, it's amazing the lenths we'll go to, to get them back.

Control. It's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it. some rely on deception. While others engage in outright trickery. Than there are those who resort to extortion. Why do we fight so hard for control? The reason is simple, almost precariously innocent, because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others. And what could be more dangerous?

That leads us to competition. Unavoidable and totally head-on. However, it means different things to different people. But whether it's a friendly rivalry.. or a fight to the finish.. the end result is still the same. There will be winners... with that comes losers. Of course, the trick is to know which battles to fight, when to pull your moral foot up. You see, no victory comes without a price.

YOU NEED TO STUDY HARDER!!!!!

rush of adrenaline

2010-07-11T11:55:00.002+08:00

THE FIRST SOLAR ECLIPSE IN 350 YEARS, this natural but somewhat magical phenomenon occured from 7-10.30am this morning! I know it's silly of me to think of it magical to the extend of calling it enchanting for kids our age, (oh dear) but silly as it sounds its precisely these little surprises outer-space brought to earth which lit up my entire morning! So, I admit i'm an andrenaline junky to boot, but hey, bleak as it sounds, how many decades do we have to let something like that slip by? It's almost certain, (stamp plus chop) that I dont have another 350 years ahead of me to wait for one of these little surprises to come around here again.

Pressing on, I mumbly decided to sneak out this morning to try and catch a glimpse(maybe not) or just to be in the moment when the eclipse is occuring. Yup, maybe not get the slightest glimpse of it since it'll possibly damage my eyes for life, I headed out to the beach armed with my spanking new sunglasses (purchased just for the saek of the moment) and await for the melancholic adrenaline to kick in.

Fire & Ice

2010-07-06T21:55:00.002+08:00

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perih twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice

~Robert Frost~

.... but not now

2010-06-16T22:10:00.015+08:00

With Kashmiere, my pup at the lake
Yes! Each new day in suburbia brings with it a new set of lies.
The worst are the ones we tell ourselves before we fall asleep. We whisper them in the dark, teling ourselves we're happy.. or that he's happy.. that we can change.. change to adapt to the fact that we all have our own lives to live. We persuade ourselves we can live with our sins.. or that we can at the very least, live without him. Yes. Each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that, come morning, it will all be true.

And yes! We are all searching for someone. (Let us not try to deceive ourselves to think otherwise.) That special person who will provide us what's missing in our lives. Someone who can offer companionship or assistance and on top of it all- Security. And sometimes if we search hard enough, we can find someone who provides us with all three. Yes... we are all searching for someone, and if we can't find them, we can only hope they find us. ;)

stuff of the cliché

2010-06-09T23:23:00.004+08:00

There is not a moment which passes without hearing Mr Singh's voice on repeat mode in my inner-ear of how he'll scream at anyone one of us and kick up a fuss in public if he spots us in the city district and about how much we'll live to "crash & burn" again and again if we do not start studying now because everyone else has started months before us! More of the latter stuck in my head actually, but at least this is one swell of a way to keep me from one of my favourite time-killers--- billiard at Black's cottage. haha!

Day before Concert: F.E.V.E.R! Kept me awake the entire night with the sickening feeling of feeling cold and shivering. However, something ZY said kept me occupied through the rest-less night. Building up towards the day of the concert, I get a sense that Canon don't seem to sound as good as it used to be anymore. It's technically alright, visually...o..k..., but something is missing, and thanks to ZY, I figured it out! FEELING! I was so caught up with trying to improve the visuals I've over-looked the fundamentals this is all about, playing with a true heart. I finally worked it out and we got our section a moment up there! ;)

CO concert finally came to a fairytale closure, for me at least, it's a closure. I'm not even certain if I'll ever join another ochestra anymore, but i glad to have joined TPJCO! For all its worth, it was worth it all the while. Emptyness kicks in as my section and I realise we'll never have another Wednesday to look forward to unwind and get random with our selection of tunes to keep ourselves entertained. Aloysius told me how lonely he'll get after we left, "no one to play Canon, no one to play Lemon Tree, no one to goof off with me after this is over." Child-like remarks that're enough to induce tears I tortously fought back. Ester's last hug was deeply printed in my memory. I couldn't see her face, (cuddling her) but her whimpers by my ear was astonishingly hard to forget! Surprised even, that how I've become the one to seek comfort from when more often than not im the one needing some. It's funny how people might forget what you said, they might forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. I'll never forget how loved my juniors and all my buddys in CO has made me feel =)

If love is joy, it is also sorrow; if sweet, bitter; if sublime, profane. These contradictions like love itself, are the stuff of the cliché. Fête galantes ~

we'll leave it on the line

2010-06-01T22:55:00.004+08:00

Its funny attempting to be mad at someone when you care about them. Trying too hard to ignore you and to put you from my mind. But face it, enough is enough, I can't keep on pretending that i'm cool with your ways nor do I want to waste anymore effort trying to pretend otherwise.

Abusive use of my feelings? I'm baffled because I can't help but feel of you still trying to help me when I kept treating you with avoidance, but, on the other hand, the other side of me tells me that "hey its your job."

Maybe I'm too immature for you and for all this with my typical ways or just maybe since all this started out from this place where I first know you, it should end as all this comes to an end soon. Does affinity and (probably one-sided) passion only gets us this far?

The Lake House

2010-05-25T23:09:00.003+08:00

Do this for me and I might marry you.

Lately I've became pen-pals with a terrific speaker who came to my school -Thaddeus Lawrence!

This got to be THE MOST wise decision our school has ever made in the decade. I had to bring him up because I would like to express my gratitude as he's been such an inspiration with my lost and still unfound self-esteem. I need to, like he says "reject normalcy and mediocrity and live a life worth living:-)" Bucker up Hermione!

it all felt Surreal

2010-05-16T21:47:00.004+08:00

This week I dare proclaim to be the finest week I've had in my nearly 2 years in JC.
Everything this week seems to get on so smoothly I can hardly believe it!

1. I came in first in the Jc2 girls 12X100m relay. My very first medal for running on the 12th of May 2010 =D
2. Tiring as it is, College day CO and violin/cello/bass rehearsals were foremost one of THE most enjoyable things I did
3. Just being able to spend some time playing random songs and forging memories I'll forver keep

After all that's said, there's the flip-side I'll guitlessly flood...
First of all, I'll just like to tell all the teachers who were abnormaly nice to me on college day "Thank You". Thank you all for allowing me the opportunity to finally fully comprehend the adjective "facade." I promise you, your examples were doubtlessly unparalleled by anyone I've seen till date!
To W, yours was... (finding the most appropriate word)- S E A M L E S S . You want us to contribute in reviving our cca. You want us to work hard for this. You want us to ensure the survival of this art. But let me tell you this, what you really want is for us to become a favourite of our headmaster you want us to resonate across the cca board so that you'll be able to finally assert your boasting rights. Above all, you want us to be "famous", but not too much least we be poached by other teachers or staff members. What're are we? Objects? Chips you can easily cash in?

You weave among us a sophisticated illusions, fed our hopes with disillusionment. Do you actually, niavely think this could all go unnoticed? That we're as blind as we're individually as we're in a group? You're popping out of your seams Mister and had probably already spun your last stunt.

To end off, be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.. that I'll aim not to~

where oh where is my fairytale scene?

2010-05-08T14:39:00.002+08:00

apologies but too many of you guys have been getting under my skin for the past few days.

1. I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door when you're carrying a ton of instruments and a bunch of scores!
2. for goodness sake if i text you, its not that i thought my fingers needed some exercise-i expect a reply!
3. dont 'LOL' me, it sounds so patronizing.
4. curse and swear sparingly when the occasion calls for it. adopting it as your pet phrase only shows how uncouth you are.
5.presenting girls with the sweetest things wouldn't change a thing (at least for me) if you prove to be untrustworthy and one who can't keep to their words
6. Okay I know it's the 21st century and it's fair for ladies to confess to guys but still, there are dead shy ladies around (AHEM). It'd be nice if you could open your mouth first. Shy boys are really cute, if they've got the balls it's a major plus point. Shy boys who choose to forever keep their silence are depressingly tough to handle. Guys with no balls and huge egos are just, bye bye.
7. when you're the one that was wrong, admit it instead of trying to unearth 101 reasons to argue your way through! (can't say the same if your lady is unreasonable, tough)
8. don't make promises lightly, and if you made a promise, we expect you to keep to your word~ RELIGIOUSLY
9. forget about the cheesy pick-up lines like 'hey i'e got my library card and im checkin' you out.' its fun to say but a MAJOR turn off! its not even obscurely cute nor does that make you seem ike one wth a high IQ/EQ. i'll just weird you out with my infinitely scary glare.
10. know that there's no girl, not even one in this world whose identical. like it or not even though she's alot like some girl you used to know, they're not the same!

On a side note,
these few days have been sweatering hot and humid and stuffie and sticky man! i would strongly believe that i could fry sunny-side-ups on gravel grounds and have them burnt on the edges! XD

2 years full of tears

2010-04-26T22:51:00.002+08:00

The thought of having to go into the night with little sleep is enough to make me weep these days. The thoughts of doing badly for exams when I obviously know how to do those questions are RIDICULOUS! Math class today, my Math teacher asked if we had questions about our tutorial. Believe me, I seriously did know how to do but instead she askd "you REALLY did this all on your own without discussion?" Promiscuous, total disbelief is writtten all over her face. But can I blame her? My results sucked! How can I fault her for my own lackings? But I being easily emotional, I felt discredited from my own "achievement."

It's late, and i'm off to bed, but before I end this entry off, i'll like to answer Cheyne's question from the afternoon: do you have a song stuck in your head like all the time?

Ans: Yes!
I wake up singing "Music Again" every morning, I think its the soundtrack to the dirty dreams I almost always have ;)

like a moth to a flame, we're talkin' danger

2010-04-18T14:01:00.005+08:00

Our music is what brought us together, we have connected the first time we played, that experience, I admit is one I never felt before. Though we have never played better, it breaks my heart to think that perhaps because the both of us still doubts the other and neither one of us seems to be willing to be the first to break away from that coyness to express ourselves OR perhaps its just my own naivneness to think this is mutual -he would be playing on without me.. ..

If this involves heartache, this heart will not partake. Sever the heartstrings, push my foot on the heartbrake... before it's too late. Or if this could lead to a future of flamboyance, than PLAY ME A SYMPHONY IN BLUE-- the sort of blue between clouds when the sun comes out, the sort of blue in those eyes you get hung up about~~~~

Just so you know

2010-04-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Another heated up week coming to a close. It ain't entirely smooth this week, however I'd rate it 5 on a scale of 10. Subconciously, I'm torturing myself in trying to forget the less than pleasant event that took place durin CCA last night. I shall do myself the favour of not elaborating further.

A heart-to-heart talk with dearest Senior Fu Yee and my 'over-excitable' junior Charlene i must say are the best remedies for curing a defeated heart. At the brink of entertaining thoughts of giving up on what I truly loved most, there's the 2 of them to pull me back up on my feet and help me regain that little extra fortitude to march on! Where did they find it in them to be so gracious? To see myself of what I might never see? They might not feel that their words would carry such extraordinary weight, but I could not thank them enough for seeing what I dont see in myself.

Genuinely, not until now Fu Yee bringing this up, I never realise playing my instrument in school would arise in the possibilities of the negative connotations of the word: envy. I would like to make myself clear that I do what I do with the least of intentions of "showing off". More so, I wanted to experiment the many possibilities, arrangements and make-up of famous pieces. Challenging myself to not only improve but if possible achieve some sort of a breakthrough in the traditions of classical music.

I felt lucky and loved to have the best of seniors and buddys who were supportive on this crazy idea a year back when I first got to know them and how it was such an honour to have us walk on this road to CHANGE together and making thorugh the other end changing other's perception on the stereotype of Chinese music.

And sometimes a moment becomes a memory the instant it is happening. Because it is so true, so pure and so significant, you want to capture it forever.

I long for a Sanctuary

2010-04-03T01:43:00.007+08:00

Watched Disney's "Hunchback of Notre Dame" this afternoon. I know its 'classic' and I'll probably be told to have "no life" when I could have gone to a movie or something, but the story sets me thinking about how certain things still stay relevant with time and how everyone longs for some place safe, and what we really want is a safe place - a SANCTUARY. 2 years in JC, 2 years of constant fear and anxiety... i got to get a grip!

On a side note, I love this portrait! the 'trompe l'oeil' painting of a violin on an inner door. Simiarly, I welcome everyone with open arms, but only one can make me open my inner door for you.

Let Me Dance a Pixie's Dance

2010-03-30T21:24:00.006+08:00

I love to walk out into the gardens after a thorough rainfall. It seems like the rain has washed away all the resentments and loneliness I felt during the day. Engaging only in the act of breathing in the freshness of the grassblades and hearing the toads sing a serenade under the clearly moonlit sky after the clouds has drained themselves light where perhaps the pixies and gnomes come out to play. Its amazing how at that moment it subconciously allows your imagination to let loose to give you a little bliss in your much miserable life. I wish somethings can be different so I won't have to be so miserable and sulky ALL DAY THROUGH!

Who Am I?

2010-03-28T21:53:00.005+08:00

We all struggle to find the right path to take in life. It's not always easy to know what that is or where it may lead us. In the end, it's the people in out lives that provide us the balance to help us make it through.

People always seem to try to tell us who we're meant to be, but it's up to us to decide whether or not the label fits. There's a reason why people say we shouldn't expect too much of others. No one wants to see someone they care about end up disappointed.

We instinctively act to protect our own from being hurt and do what we can to make the right choices for the people we love. But the reason we have expectations in the first place is because we want to aim as high as we can, because when you love someone, there's no limit to what you can accomplish. This is the label I've come to accept, and now its my responsibility to earn it.

Been catching up on spring cleaning duties these 2 days. Some like my Dad finds it easy to part with long neglected objects that has lost its value others like me, a pack rat finding hard to let go. It than dawn on me to realise that spring cleaning isn't just about sorting through things and getting rid of clutter. It's more about taking stock of who yo are, and how others see you. It's a chance to redefine yourself, to change expectations and to remember that it's never too late to recapture who you were or to aim for who you want to be.

in retrospect..

2010-03-27T16:46:00.003+08:00

The SAs had just ended, finally had some spare time to do WHAT I LIKE .. BLOGGING! :P
Changed my skin to a more relaxed setting, just when you thought life is not taxing enough! OMG! I just realised ive got so much to say!!! Let's start with the most recent of tales...

1. SAs ended!!! (its a repetition, i know :D)

2. Had planned to go to Yo Yo Ma's concert with Shenyee and Kevin however... TICKETS ARE SOLD OUT! Darn! Haven't been much of a concert-goer ever since JC started and just when there's a great player coming our way, tickets.. POOFed! Better luck in probably 5 year's time perhaps -.-"

3. CO camp! Though I was not present thorughout the camp, the sectional and Da zhu practises were Deeeee Bomb! ;D

4. Adam Lambert was in town 11-13th March! Wasn't a lucky fan to attend his private concert at Resort World where he was the FIRST performer to be performing there, however, I managed a glimpse along with a swft handhale and autograph from him! The experience... surreal.... first time in my 17 years I've felt so in-awe and starstrucked!

5. Study!

6. Study!

7. Study!

8. when tangent is parallel to Y axis, STUDYING goes to INFINITY~~~~~

With that, I shall end here.. ..

"SCHOOL"

2010-03-09T18:43:00.003+08:00

Was almost late for school AGAIN today.... and since i've got a 1.5h break a while ago, i came up with this!

If there is a vile, pernicious,
Wicked and degraded rule,
Tending to debase the vicious,
And corrupt the harmless fool,
If there is a hateful habit
Making man a senseless tool,
With the feelings of a rabbit
And the wisdom of a mule;
It's the rule which inculcates,
It's the habit which dictates
The wrong and sinful practice of going into school.

If there's anything improving
To an erring sinner's state,
Which is useful in removing
All the ills of human fate
If there's any glorious custom
Which our faults can dissipate,
And can casually thrust them
Out of sight and make us great
It's the plan by which we shirk
Half our matutinal work,
The glorious institution of always being late.

Contradiction

2010-01-09T22:28:00.002+08:00

If I say I’m sorry
It’s just me telling a lie
When you’re in my arms I feel emptier inside
I never felt so satisfied
Everything falls into place
but I think I need a little more time
And yeah I know my life has changed but honestly I don’t know if we’ll survive
A loaded smile. An empty glass. And one last dance

Walking hand in hand you are all I ever want
And when you’re not around dear
Don’t even notice that you’re gone
We are barely hanging on
Everything falls into place
but I think I need a little more time
And yeah I know my life has changed but honestly I don’t know if we’ll survive
Makes me want you baby
Can’t you feel it
It’s a certain kind of convocation
Everything falls into place but I think I need a little more time
And yeah I know my life has changed but honestly I don’t know if we’ll survive
A loaded smile. An empty glass. And one last dance

A Loaded Smile

2009-12-15T14:50:00.003+08:00

Hey guys!
This blog looks abandoned.. .. .. .. BY ME!
Been busy AGAIN lately. Busy with the movie shoots with the what it seems endless delays and unpredictable dates and locations. So much so that the irresponsible phrase of 'just get it over and done with' keeps bobbing in and out of my once in awhile.

Balancing pins and needles with that would be my violin rehearsals for my performance early next year in January, and much fought for location - the Esplanade. yAy! Can't comment much on it though, but its guaranteed to get audience in-AWE. Here's a blooper: i'm training hard on tap-dancing for te show XD

ANDDDDD on top of it all- school work!
The above would have said it all as to why i'm barred from my holidays wouldn't they?

P.S: i'm totally addicted to Adam Lambert!!!! Oh you make me wanna listen to Music Again.

Time for Miracles

2009-11-27T17:28:00.001+08:00

For your Entertainment

2009-11-18T22:05:00.011+08:00

Hey guys! Pardon me for the serious lack of updates. Enthusiasm to blog just died with my hellish schedule. To keep you posted:

1. I'm currently working on a movie shoot titled 'Forever', in Golden Village everywhere next year September.
Do support by boosting the ticket house XD

2. Also, coming up very soon in January 2010 will be my violin concert held at the star-studded Esplanande recital hall.
*Fingers crossed*
tickets available soon online!

Painting my nails BLACK in support of Adam's debut album release next week!

Too many mind

2009-11-09T21:51:00.005+08:00

Autumn, this marks the longest time I've kept from blogging since the Os. Many 'opportunities' have surfaced since I last wrote. Many chances I would call them, leverage in changing the way I live my life now. I do not know if they were blessings or challenges arising in a different form. I want them, surrounding me like a ring of fire, but at the same time, I fear. Like a wounded tiger fierce, intense but yet afraid. I'll do all I can and hope for the best, until my destiny reveals itself.

Too many mind? To devote oneselve to the perfection of whatever they pursue. I have never known such discipline existed. I am surprised to learn that only to devote yourself to having 'no mind' will you be able to seek a stillness of your soul. Only than will one be able to take control and only which will I than have finally found my first untroubled sleep in many years.

The Puppeteer

2009-10-27T16:50:00.004+08:00

[ feeling theatrical lately, so i conjured a poem on it.. enjoy ]

You are a master of your craft
Pick me up
Make me dance
Put me down
Make me flop ugly
In the corner

You take all the weight from my crossbar, my cross to bear
Pick me up - lighten my wooden heart!
Make me dance - see my painted smile!
Put me down - I love the way you move me!
Make me flop ugly - I'll catch my breath!
In the corner - of your marvellous theatre!

Your eyes leer above me as you jump my legs apart
Pick me up - my skirts will flutter at that speed!!
Make me dance - the fandango, the tango, the
can-can-can-can-can!!
Put me down - you have dribbled on me!!
Make me flop ugly - I am still smiling at you!!
In the corner - I won't move without you!!

My pleasing smile remains on call for your manipulation
Pick me up - damn you!
Make me dance - but not with that stupid farmer's boy!
Put me down - at once!
Make me flop ugly - see if I care!
In the corner - out of the sun or my silk dress will fade!

You ignore me for days and let me gather dust
Pick me up - you know I will do as you please...
Make me dance - see how prettily the dust falls through the
sunlight...
Put me down - no need to call me that...
Make me flop ugly - but you could be more gentle...
In the corner - where you know where to find me...

The invisible string to my heart is broken and knotted in
places
Pick me up - my life is always in your hands!
Make me dance - even though I have lost a shoe!
Put me down - not in the box! not in the box! please!
Make me flop ugly - I won't say a word!
In the corner - where I can watch you

Outside I'm masquerading

2009-10-13T14:54:00.002+08:00

One of the advantages of going out alone is that you do not have to accomodate others. You do not have to smile, you do not have to make small talk, you do not have to spare a thought for others. And that was what I experienced when I went to the movies myself, went to Dessert House myself, listen to a live band myself, went to singles Masterclass myself. All the time for yourself. All focus on yourself. Finding yourself. Almost an indulgence. It was a good feeling. Did it once. Did it again. Will continue to do so from time to time.

It is self-indulgence no doubt, but.. .. ..

Why? Because sometimes you are so tired of smiling and trying to be nice to others when others do not even try to be nice to you. Not a saint, but you know you have tried to be good to others but others do not seem to try to be good to you; in fact, they begin to think you are a pushover. When every good seems to be forgotten and each bad remembered. When a sheet of white paper with a black dot is noticed only for its black dot. When whatever credit you thought you might have built up counts for nothing really.

I don’t want to be calculative. But I really don’t want to be too accomodating either. How many can you accomodate in your life? How many would you like to accomodate in your life? Seriously, people who matter. I don’t want to be too accomodating. I’ll keep this at the back of my head. And continue to be the same, the way I deem right.

Our hopes and expectations

2009-10-12T16:50:00.002+08:00

a Starbucks inspired poem....

What I have done,
I will make up for it here.
For all the nights drunk,
I will fix it this year.

I wont smoke, i wont cheat.
I will watch what i eat,
I wont ever cry,
I promise no lies,
To keep me where i want to be.

Cake or sugar i wont have any,
Swear I will save ever penny...
Unless there's a sale.
Or if there are shoes I must have or a Diamond at Zales.

Only necessities if i will survive,
but what is the difference between now and last night?
Well it is a new year, but I'm the same person,
Drunken, an addict, look what I've done.

This year is no different, except the economy is bad,
Looks like my best days were the ones I already had.

Touch of the Master's Hand

2009-09-26T18:54:00.002+08:00

It was battered and scarred,
And the auctioneer thought it
hardly worth his while
To waste his time on the old violin,
but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,
"Who starts the bidding for me?"
"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"
"Two dollars, who makes it three?"
"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"

But NOOOoooooo
From the room far back a man hides under his mask
Came swift and picked up the bow,
Then wiping the dust from the old violin
And tightening up the strings,
He played a melody, pure and sweet
As sweet as the Angel of Music sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"
As he held it aloft with its' bow.

"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"
"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"
"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,
Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,
But some of them cried,
"We just don't understand."
"What changed its' worth?"
Swift came the reply.
"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

And many a man with life out of tune
All battered with bourbon and gin
Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd
Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,
A game and he travels on.
He is going once, he is going twice,
He is going and almost gone.

But the Master comes,
And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,
The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought
By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

OFFICIALLY 17!

2009-09-18T19:17:00.002+08:00

I don't understand the fact that i'm getting excitable about getting older, but I do understand how sacred it is to celebrate ones birthday! The word said it all, BIRTH-DAY. Though it landed on the first day of school term, I'll say its pretty awesome!
Awesome defined in the sense that (not in any order) :
1. I got my first b'day sms 12 am sharp from Hiro! No.1 sms from my no. 1 cousin in France (not to mention the surprise parcel that came early next morning heehee)
2. followed by smses from my buddies old and new consecutively !MuaX!
3. Liyana aka AlgaeJ surpried me with a special visit to my school! (tears...)
4. the Haydnites and CO at school were with me
5. the dudes of Big Evil co. threw a surprise party on Saturday at the violin studio
6. the pressies DUH.. ;D
7. sweet intimate b'day celebration dinner at the restaurant with my fav. CHILLI CRAB! then brief cake-cutting on Monday. (hw = kill joy)
8. violin bandslam playing random songs haha
9. Meghan was so so thoughtful... socks for different day of the week
10.Cheng Xi came over at 9+ pm to play billiard intense session with me! XD

Pictures.... on the way. No time to download after you guys sent me. oopsy!
Anyway.... something triggered the art genes in me and I came up with this painting! Guess it must have been all the romantic love poems kinly symbolised with the moon in everyone of them that trigggered this---- 'master piece' XD

Like a Secret Swan

2009-09-07T23:57:00.005+08:00

Trying to be so perfect, cause I know you're worth it..
The side of me I want you to see....the words I want you to hear...I never did say, but I was hoping secretly that you would be able to feel it nevertheless.
What's wrong now? I fear I might lose myself if i don't change back, as for you, you might lose the girl you(might have)fell for not too long ago. Those songs we played, fed by our sweats and aspirations has never stopped ringing in my head just as how I never lost faith in you. So won't you duet along with me?

FIVE MORE DAYS & I'M OFFICIALLY 17!

Constant as the stars above

2009-09-01T11:49:00.011+08:00

Drafty... plain drafty....
Its Teachers' Day celebration yesterday and out of my normal practise, I head back to PRCS. Yea~ so I get to catch up with a few 'fav.' teachers such as Mr leong & Ms H, which was kinda cool. I know how anti-climax and annoying it is to conclude my feelings with 'cool~' which would totally discredit their work on me. But, I guess some things are better left unsaid I suppose. Ms H looked at me with X-ray eyes, which freaked me out just a little bit.. she seems to be able to see there's more to it then what is there on the surface. And YES, there's alot more I wish to tell her if only I can write them all down for her to see. I'm not at my best at expressing myself verbally recently so I rather she be able to see it through me. I wonder if she could just look at me and really see my heart. Her tight hug saved the day, keeping me from falling into pieces in public.

If only the melancholy colors of the rain would just end and I, to be able to survive the storm to see the rainbow emerging soon before long

Practise last Saturday. Love the pine color of the piano, a good change to the good old black I see all the time ;)

My STARFISH violin!!!!! its finally arrived! I've been anticipating it for months. I'm so happy :D

Chillin' out on my fav. place mother earth can offer-the WIDE OCEAN. its taken back during my vacation, but i guess i just needed a little of how-things-used-to-be

as the sun embraces the moonlight

Soda Saturday

2009-08-22T12:01:00.004+08:00

Spares from my tcher's place

I’ve been so busy in the past few days to realise my violin plus tapping dancing rehearsal was yesterday. Actually, it’s a case of I didn’t even realise it was Friday.
Bingeing at dinner

old tap shoes

BRAND NEW tap shoes! thanks Meghan :)

Step up

i brought my build-a-bear with me. intruducing Curly!!!!!

Cramped post

2009-08-19T21:47:00.016+08:00

Hi~ maddeningly busy for weeks, too much events to tell..... so....
In my National Day patriotic suit (friday before National Day)

The Awesome guys: Zi Jin, Lloyd, Ezovex :D

We patriotic twosome

a mark of art.... shedding some light to the old tree in darkness

Crowned Suona Shen Tong of the year!

A drop too much?

All you NEED......

Dizi

I think i really got tipsy XD

our mode fo transport

Building castles to feed us girl's fantasy-only we know

Excluively for us cellists

Sunday: Natoinal Day itself! I got all dressed up for a wedding lunch

Just have to take a picture before going out HAHA!

18th Aug; went to the Jap's cemetary.. SPOOKY~

Marcus of S14. Soking in the 'serenity' the yard brings him XD

All in the pasts, the flowers as dead as the grave

I guess the neighbours enjoy the terminology 'silence as the grave' yea?

Peaceful no? What about all that brutality

Skittles got me through

Doesn't it look like a hide away secret garden? the beauty along side the horror of the ghost of its past?

Deals with an Absolute?

2009-08-04T21:41:00.005+08:00

Romantic idealism and brutal pragmatism were being explored in Literature class today. Just look at the strong juxtapose between those two. They can practically be linked to Romeo & Juliet aka the sun and the moon that never meets, well... accept for a phenomenon eclipse, that is to say sporadic.

Well I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around. I find my faith in you is fading as I keep waiting for you but you never come. Please tell me that this is not just in my head and that all this is just my one-sided illusion. It's been you all along it's just that you don't know of it yet. Its probably my 1/2nonchalent attitude that buffers you.... but then again we're currently walking in buffer zone arern't we? Well see thorugh my smile and know that im wanting an answer :D

Hiro is coming home Hiro is coming home Hiro is coming home Hiro is coming home Hiro is coming home Hiro is coming home

Heeding Advice

2009-07-30T21:49:00.002+08:00

I’m sure everyone has been offered advice at some point in time, even when you didn’t ask for it. When all goes well, great, but the problem comes when the advice goes wrong or doesn’t solve the problem. Now who is to be blamed? The advisor, or the “advisee”?

For anyone to dispense advice, it goes to show that he is willing to have a personal stake in our problems when really he doesn’t have to. Just because the advice is there doesn’t mean you have to take it.

Most people who give advice do it based on their past experiences 'I wouldn’t do it if I were you', based on their preferences or based on their own prejudices. How much this applies to our situation is almost like reading about our daily horoscopes. Is this really going to happen to all the Virgos in the world? Is this really going to work for me?

Perhaps we are all afraid to make mistakes, afraid to make decisions, afraid to live with the consequences of a wrong move. That is why we seek other people’s opinions, we ask for advice, hoping to avoid other people’s mistakes, hoping to learn from other people’s lessons so that our lives will be smooth sailing. However, I think we develop strengths and principles when things don’t go our way. That is why we just have to trust our own instincts to do the thing that works for us.

If we fail, we learn, but at least we are responsible for the making of ourselves.

I've picked up the habit of reading my horoscope ad tarot cards again, it seems like something about them always facinates me. XD

Hiro is coming home next week after 3 event-filled years!! Web-cam sessions and postcards just won't cut it. Man, I missed him. Wonder how he'll come back to be.... a much more Mature (with a capitalised M, intelligent guy? Stays as crazy and impulse driven as ever? Or just being good old Hiro?
Whatever, we'll soon find out ;)

Fine, Vines and trying times

2009-07-20T20:03:00.003+08:00

Sleep eludes me for weird reasons..Mr Sandman has been late again and again for the past few days. Not good, leaving me zombie stricken these few days. >.<
Failed my nafa running. Urgh, my classmates comforted me by telling me there's a chance i might have run an extra lap. If I really did, I should just charge straight into the wall. On the other hand, I'll be keeping in shape. In any case, I've to run ALONE again tomorrow! T.T OmG! After the intense run today, i'll collapse running, yikes!

Haydnites at TPJC told me lil' monster laughs at her own jokes, which happens only lil' monster will understand at lunch. Bleuh.. I had a great laugh today ^.^ An hour's lunch filled with tears of laughter and a meaningful b'day song. Wow, quite an accomplishment over lunch HaAhHaAh.

Attended a family gathering yesterday before violin class. Gosh, Crystal (somewhat my cousin of 19) is turning me into a gossip-monger! Turns out she's in CO too! Whieee! What a fine coincidence!

Tomorrow's probably a hell of a day. Be ready to stink up the facility~
Lil' Monster XD
ps: hard as i have to try, i know i can't quit

In the spur of the moment.. I wrote a poem!

2009-07-12T20:22:00.004+08:00

Caught a glimpse of a web in my violin teacher's garden and I went all poetic in an instant.. enjoy! XD
I try to catch the sunlight
You're drawing down the moon
You know
That some small flying thing
Will be here soon

I'm casting into cyberspace
The tendrils of my web
A hungry, unknown artist
Not
Another dull celeb

The beauty of my photograph
Will catch you if it can
Spinning world illusions
All for unsuspecting men

I ask you
For a little while
To stick with me
Immersed in poem-pictures
Life suspended
On the cyber-tree

The web of grandma spider
Will drain you of your blood
While
Cocoons of poem-pictures
Can transform your mood

If you think you are a caterpillar
Climbing up a leaf
I bring a transformation
And a solace for your grief

Unlike the hairy spider
I am not a creeping thief
From your dreary daily burdens
I bring relief

If looking into beauty
You fear that you will die
I offer you a rebirth
See
A butterfly

The Most Obnoxious Sound.. .. .. ..

2009-07-10T19:00:00.003+08:00

.. .. .. ..Is the inter-connected phone RINGINGGGGGG RINGGGINGGG RINGGGGINGGGGGGG at 5:30am, and it's all the way across the bedside table, so you can't reach it with your sleepy, fumbling attempts at picking it up and slamming it back down. Your Dad is leaving London this morning, and so his wake up call is at 5:30am. You don't have to be up until 9:30, but everyone else is at snooze mode accept for my Dad whose in the shower and there's no one here to make the screeching of the phone stop. And you're half asleep, so it sounds even louder than it is. Slow motion, high-pitched, echoing, blasting, ringing. Never ending. The other end of the phone wants to make COMPLETELY sure you're awake. So it rings 400 million times, which is very thorough of them.. But it is the last thing you want to experience when you're half asleep, groggy, cranky, and trying to keep your eyes closed so you don't wake up completely and feel inclined to then blog about your trying, unfortunate situation. I think you can guess how it, inevitably, all worked out in the end. So I'm very inclined to blog about my trying situation.

I've got this eggie feeling that people at school feels that i'm being obnoxious. Boy, is that the word? Well, sometimes I don't greet people I see because I thought maybe they didn't see me, or something just came over me that made me superbly self-concious of late. Even teachers, no, ONE teacher particularly gave me that sense. Or maybe i'm just too LOUD people no longer thinks I feel shame and uncertainties too. Well at least ex-prcsians and a haydnite was always there to make me feel right at place and there's at least someone who never fails to catch my slightest wave as I struggle with my self-conciousness. So I thank you and hope tha tit will stay.

Some things in life they just don't wanna see
But if Michael Jackson was livin'
He wouldn't let this be, no, no, no

P.S: you know I really wish I needn't admit it, I miss M.J

the Talented Tragedy

2009-06-26T15:32:00.006+08:00

It just doesn't feel.. Everyone was on msn saying "Have you heard?"

Isn't it strange that when someone dies, suddenly everyone becomes appreciative. Isn't it just a little bit too late?
And what about all the nasty talk about that person?

Suddenly everyone backpedals. Is it to lessen the guilt on their conscience?
Well it doesn't matter if you're backpedaling - because the dead only have memories of when they were alive.

Just because it has happened or is happening does not make it right.
There are some things you have to stand up for.
What do you stand up for?

“Just because it is doesn’t mean it should be.”

Most people would turn you away
I don’t listen to a word they say
They don’t see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I’m sure they’d think again
If they had a pal like you.

P.S:
Just got off the phone with grandma, she and Michael Jackson are starting a supergroup somewhere above.
Said to keep an eye out for album in Spring ;)

I'm craving Sushi and Jamba juice!

Just might be Paranoid

2009-06-22T10:30:00.006+08:00

I make the most of all the stress, I try to live without regrets. But I'm about to break a sweat cause I'm freakin'g out! My music exams are drawing close, school exams even close at that! Stuck in a room of staring faces.
Caught in a nightmare can't wake up. If you hear my cry, running through the street. I'm about to freak, come and rescue me! Practising a fair amount is priority for the time being. So perhaps no more outings until this madness is complete.

I wanna go octopus ball-ing again with my junior-Charlene!! XD

I've no time for TIME

2009-06-19T15:27:00.003+08:00

This is just great.I've no time to read my TIME magazine, crucial for GP. Yikes! It's piling up and probably overflooding my desk. Holidays are really for the wins.. I'm freaking packed! Shortly after school's papers, I've got my violin practical serving straight up HOT in the same month! Which means a perpetual ooze of $$$$ from my Daddy's wallet till the exams are over XD
It's the Singapore Sales! However, it does seem obvious that most malls aren't getting into the crazy discount spirit. Oh all is well, didn't have time to go shopaholically bananas anyway. Got myself a few Nike apparel and that pretty much it.
Had a game of volleyball at the beach with Meghan, Cindy, Ev and Pierre. AND on top of that, I made strawberry pie for my family! 1st attempt.
Pretty neat for a 1st try eh? XD

wHy So SeRiOuS?

2009-06-09T21:58:00.002+08:00

People nowadays no longer seems to want to hear the truth, or heartfelt words, or need to see what is real, or the genuine side of things. That’s passe, no longer in fashion, boring, and it doesn’t get you anywhere. People want to hear words pleasant to the ears, what they want to hear, that are light, not too heavy, that need not be serious, for the fun of it, no need to be of substance, can be superficial, not to be taken seriously, of entertainment value, spontaneous, that show your reaction, say-it-here-and-forget-about-it-here type. Because life is heavy and tiring enough as it is. Is the explanation and rationale behind it.

To attach too much value to everything said and done? I’m out-of-fashion, I guess. Not keeping up with the times. Can't tank! XD

Had my CO interview today, can't said I were impressive today probably screwed it up.... :X

Panorama-Zest for Life at the Esplanande

2009-06-05T13:09:00.007+08:00

Had a life-time experience at the Esplanande concert hall for my school's Panorama on Wednesday. Wow would just be an insult to a moment like this.

My heel got stuck in a crack in the stage that night. Not for long, not badly stuck, but just long enough that I wondered what would have happened had I not been able to yank myself free in the course of a single stride. A collision? A crash? A comedic moment? I'm not wearing stilettos these days, and for that, especially in sticky moments, I am glad.

Several common concert hall features make it clear that most venues were not designed by women. One is the aforementioned width of the cracks between joints of the stage (ideal for swallowing heels). Another is the location of certain structural gaps and hidden vents in the stage, which can emit strong breezes that inflate skirts like balloons. (lucky im in secured pants) Also, nearly every time I try to do my makeup or hair backstage, it is difficult to make use of the mirror – either it is held at a distance by a table or sink, or the lighting is unfriendly to the eyes.

But I'm not complaining. The venues are truly wonderful here in the world of classical music. The audience sits in comfortable seats in a setting designed for acoustic performance, the floors are clean, the temperature is regulated, the dressing rooms are decently sized, the deadbolts work, and the staff is helpful. There is room to practice. There are electrical outlets in the walls and 'private' bathrooms for the performers. In conclusion to that, concert halls are very nice places to be!

My camera is bombarded with pictures.. which hopefully i'll be able to find time to post it all up....
However.. since blogger allow 5 pics at a time, i shall just post 5 today XD

My 2nd artist's pass! woohoo

Goofing around in the dressing room

Conductor Liu Bin and me ^.^

Octo Xuan Yee

Back again!

2009-06-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

MUST MUG , MUST MUG!

2009-05-22T10:30:00.004+08:00

Can't believe it, but im blogging from my school's library! "Why so slack?" you might ask. Cause today happens to be my school's Edurace. Which is some crack about educating the younger generations about our soceity. Society defence we call it. My shift don't start till 3.45pm and ends at round 6pm. Doing the math, I shall be home by 7----ON A FRIDAY!

It has been an event-filled week for me here in JC. Can't quite say I've completely settled int JC life yet though. Everything still seems pretty new and alien to me, but with the help of familiar faces, im still balancing it OK. ;)

College Day last Saturday is quite a success .... for me at least and hopefully for everyone involved. I definitely enjoyed the "experience" Mr Leong always says. Drats, but i wish i could have performed at the Esplanande too.... I was told there isn't enough time for our extended performances. Well, perhaps they'll change their minds haha!

Then there's the Annual Sports meet at the Stadium. Falcon wasn't the defending champ this year, aww.

Stayed closely tuned to American Idol Season 8 for the past 2 nights. I vote ADAM LAMBERT!!!!!! However, Kris Allen won. Both stunning in their areas of expertise in terms of stage-presence.

Right! This ends my entry for now.

Cheerio,
Min Yee

Air

2009-05-17T22:43:00.001+08:00

sooth the fevered brows

mad world

2009-05-15T21:45:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's College Day!
TPJC CO string's extension is opening for this event.
The weirdest thing happened today. I played my violin in the Audi, sitting down and the photographer tells my teacher-in-charge im "revealed"/ bao guang.
What the hell! Blame it on his lousy photography skills. heehee. So.. i decided to stand while playing tomorrow. No more awkard sitting positions to endure.
We viewed some shots of us playing on stage, and i must say. It turned out pretty urmm interesting. Ok, there's a sudden deep in the middle where im sitting. Did I just explain everything? Haha, my cello mates are just too tall XD

Okay, gotta prac for tomorrow.
Cheerio!

Stare what Stare

2009-05-09T23:11:00.001+08:00

I challenge you

to break your pointless steely gaze

that burns with scorn and rage…

with a smile of loving-kindness.

Only then, do you win any staring contest.

Now, take me seriously, will you?

AWESOME!

2009-05-07T23:26:00.001+08:00

This is definitely AWESOME!
I wanna be able to play like her!

SYF marathon

2009-05-07T23:05:00.004+08:00

SYF finally ended yesterday!
TPJC CO clinged Silver... F**k it!
Yeah, no doubt the journey has been a bitter-sweet harmony, but the product of it all is so average it hurts....just a little bit. After all, it's said and done.

No one can imagine the bitterness felt when you know you've given your all, but somehow it's just not good enough. It's never just good enough. Lesson learnt.

Now Im turning to the massive amount of tutorials and discussion to be done. All in a day's work. Gazillion cheers to Vesak day's holiday, for letting me vatch my breath. Desperately looking for enthusiasts for a game of badminton for the approaching long weekends. Not forgetting my unpractised violin. Darn, thanks to SYF i've completely placed my violin in Cold Storage.
Time to turn the heat up!

Oh and by the way, to the fine people of Big Evil, I support....
American Idol: ADAM LAMBERT!

I found myself beginning to use more smiley faces ”=)” in my blog to avoid being misunderstood. After all, it’s the “Era of the Emoticons”, when words on the printed page through smses and email have to be backed up by a variety of symbols of facial expressions and emotion, so that the tone and mood of your content is made unescapably clear. Unfortunately however, I do not like to use these emoticons in my writing. Finding myself out of place in this impersonal, computerised and high-tech era.

So there you have it. That’s my post for the week. Haha… Not forgetting… =)

topsy turvy

2009-05-01T16:43:00.006+08:00

The week flew past with astounding speed. Hmm.... must be the effects from the stockpile of timed-assignments(tests) I had to go through and to describe every single detail in my impressively mundane life would be pretty insane.

SOOOO.... I might as well blog about my CCA since it's the only source of "relaxation" in this very tense week. Let's have a look at my cca schedule shall we:

Mon: 6.00-9.30PM
Tues: 6.00-10PM
Wed: 2.30-9.30PM
Fri: 2.00-7.00PM
Sat: 10.00AM-4.00PM

(Timing fluctuates here and there, but this is roughly it)
This should explain my rangy absence from blogger world here. Which also leaves me with almost ZERO time for tutorials. Drats!

Anyway, life carries on with sectional time revolving round our very own intepretation of the piece Canon in D. Hopefully it'll work out cause trust me, if it doesn't, I won't be alone standing on the range of disappointment.
There's some sort of "cupidie thingy" going around too, I don't know man... insecurity grips me.

And of late, the word "passion" comes to mind.
And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

I find it hard to tell you,
Cause I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles
It's a very, very..
Mad world

A Huge Lesson

2009-04-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

Thank you Susan Boyle…
For that Huge Lesson

“We were all laughing at you;
no one is laughing at you now.”

You have put us all to shame
For who are we to place judgement on anybody else

Yes it’s a huge “wake-up call”
To remind us of our self-conceit, our cynicism

To look ourselves in the mirror
For the shame we so readily dish out

Thank you for that truly humbling experience;
we needed that

Yes it’s about time we learn to humble ourselves;
it’s about time we wake up

Thank you for that Huge Lesson…
That Invaluable Lesson

Perhaps it’s time for some re-assessment
Of ourselves, our values

Moral of the story:
“You may laugh at me now. But what does it matter?” Right?

Susan Boyle’s rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream”
on the programme “Britain’s Got Talent” on Youtube

Stinkie

2009-04-14T18:48:00.006+08:00

P.E today! Gross.... I stink all over. Something random, cousin made me breakfast today! don't look like much, but it's yummy!

stay focused

2009-04-11T22:36:00.002+08:00

Another crazy roller-coaster topsy-turvy week it has been. However, CCA today was excepionally fun and cooool~
The combined practise in the morning at 10am was somewhat less fun. Dawn at the fact that the female conductor was minly focusing on being perfect. Which according to me is a good way to polish up the different parts which have sucked for soooo long on every combine practises! Though this also means less or more repeated bars we have to play over and over and over and over again. Phew, that WAS seriously tiring and fluffed up a feather or two.

However, things started to change duing our sectionals after lunch in the classroom. Its always comes with the routine ritual of carrying our huge pieces of "log" to the classroom, rearrange the chairs, tune and yeah.... we have our fair moments of dazing off to la-la land, BUT the fun really began when we started to play Canon in D!

Took out my violin, accompanied by 6 very strong cellists and 2 superbly cool bassists, our very own Canon was born! We spend our time rearranging and playing our parts and had this little project of having our arranger.... may I present..... drumrolls pleaseeeee, GLEN our director-to-be to make the piece a whole lot better.

I liked this quote: "look pass the eyes, and he's a really nice guy" -turtle
Don't ask me why the quote is phrased this way, it's either you know it or you don't. But first, you have to know the person im refering to ;)
I think it's apt for such a description, which also taught me not to believe solely on biased views (which im guilty for.. sometimes... XD )

Just an insider peeve: to the Haydnites and people of Big Evil and everyone nice, hopefully TPJC CO would allow an exclusively solo to the cellists, bassist and violinist a chance to perform at the Esplanade!!!! That will be the coolest thingy ever. That'll definitely be the wickest thing yet!!!!! woohoo!
On a side note, nothing is certain yet, but i can't help keeping this little thought to myself! muahaha!

Come on guys, you should know by now it's has been one of my dreams as a violinist to be able to play at such a, such an awesome venue.

Okay.... cool it Honey Rider, cool it.... don't burst! heeheeheehee

Cheerios

We live in crazy worlds

2009-04-04T21:45:00.003+08:00

Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams? Which none other but Madmen knows~
Crazy week at school again. Took loads of school-related photos, but still, no time to put them all up. zZzZzZz

Monday:
Had fun during P.E. Played basketball yipee! Loves basketball! Makes me wonder if I even failed my 2.4 hmm....

Tues:
DID I SIGN UP FOR SPORTS SCHOOL??????????

Wed:
Cca, abit boring

Friday:
Cca again!!!! Was kinda rough actually. did really little constuctive practise. Cello section too "pro" already!!!! whoots!!!! (Stay humble) XD I got to change to "Jaga" strings! It's a good brand of German strings for cellos. Self-proclaimed lousy at changing strings, was lucky enough to have a Grade 8 cello pal, Xuan Yee to assist me. It was ridiculously hot outside and without the luxury of the air-condition in the practise room, the 2 of us sweated like fishes.

Cello is done up quickly, helped the bass out and boy oh boy, basses are ridiculous to change. My senior got her finger pricked time and again. Poor thing. The funny thing is, though all of us got worn out changing those blasted pieces, we had loads of fun. Laughing as we changed them. haha

In the practise room. I got blasted once again by the Suonas. Mostly by Joel, guess my destressing expressions gives him more inspiration to PLAY LOUDER! blah, Jun Yan took a worse blow. He's nice enough to exchange seats with me to get the 100% blast! Aww.. thanks man! touched!

Saturday:
cca yet again!
Finally talk about today. Brought my violin. Had cca from 10-3pm. Then violin from 5.15-6.30, then theory from 6.30-7.30. got home at round 8. Then went jogging at Pasir Ris park till 9pm. haha Schedule packed! Gives me a sense of accomplishment!

Played violin during cca! Oh yeah it was fun. Its better then the first time I played during cca. Hopfully this will start to cure my stage-fright problems. Junyan the sneaky recorder recorded Pirates which i played with Glen, Swan with Xuan Yee and I don't know what else he's taken. sneaky what.

Highlight!
I ALMOST KENA TRANSFERRED TO ERHU!
Lucky I was able to convinced the conductor's wife i can't play. Phew. I really don't wanna go erhu man. heehee Stereotype, but I think Cello got class. muahaha! wth right?

Happy Earth Day

2009-03-28T21:15:00.004+08:00

Found an urge to blog all of a sudden. Crazy week-in summary.
Went through a rather rough week at school. Am I jealous of you?
Jealous that you're in one way or another better than me? I know I shouldn't be acting this way, but it just doesn't feel right. Politics are running high in the Chinese Orchestra this week. Or should I put it as it will be like this for the next couple of weeks as well? Some of you would have known what I wanted already, from the very start when I put myself in that cca, basically, everyone who are close to me would have already know by now. I can't impress enough on the very thought of being in that fine position.

I want to be a soloist, and i'm looking for my first official breakthrough, but when will that day ever come? I've waited for almost 17 years now for that one special moment, please don't make me wait any longer. Will I ever make it? Will I ever shine? Will I be given a chance to prove that Im worth my salt? Will I?

It's EARTH DAY! Yup, I changed into my college's green polo T and green skirt and petrol myself around Marine Parade as I went for violin class with the Big Evil peepos. Sadly, as we were playign a game of spotting the number of peope wearing green, not much.... Guess Singaporeans are really not in a green spirit. Oh well, it's cool to have a day to look forward to. (though, i didn't do my earth hour, spending my time blogging XD)

Till again,
Kudos!

The Famished Road

2009-03-07T21:15:00.008+08:00

There was not one amongst us who looked forward to being born. We disliked the rigours of existence, the unfulfilled longings, the enshrined injustices of the world, the labyrinths of love, the fact of dying, and the amazing indifference of the Living in the midst of the simple beauties of the universe. We feared the heartlessness of human beings, all of whom are born blind, few of whom ever learn to see.

I was a spirit-child rebelling against the spirits, wanting to live the earth’s life and contradictions. Ade wanted to leave, to become a spirit again, free in the captivity of freedom. I wanted the liberty of limitations, to have to find or create new roads from this one which is so hungry, this road of our refusal to be.

Given the fact of the immortality of spirits, could these be the reason why I wanted to be born — these paradoxes of things, the eternal changes, the riddle of living while one is alive, the mystery of being, the probablility that no injustice lasts for ever, no love ever dies, that no light is ever really extinguished, that no true road is ever complete, that no way is ever definitive, no truth ever final, and that there are never really any beginnings or endings?

Before everything was born there was first the spirit. It is the spirit which invites things in, good things, or bad. Invite only good things. Listen to the spirit of things. To your own spirit. Follow it. Master it. There is a stillness which makes you travel faster. There is a silence which makes you fly.

A dream can be the highest point of a life. — Okri, Ben.

How I loathe myself when I start elaborating on how I really feel deep inside.For someone who only likes to hear answers that sastifies, I guess it's always better when I don't say anything at all. As they always say, some opinions are best kept to yourself.

How true.

But nothing beats the loathe of someone who goes around acting like they know who I am, but they don't. Assumptions they made ~ that was all.
Specifically someone from TPJC which is becoming a pain in the ass.

Currently perched on the chair in front of my computer and jabbing away at the keyboard, ignoring the blinking conversation on the taskbar. I feel so insecure, so fearful of everything, so apprehensive.

It's into March since I got enrolled into Tampines Junior College, however, somethings remained uncertain. Am I finally settled in? How will I fare? Please have me do no wrong choices.....

The truth is.. .. .. ..

2009-02-21T10:16:00.001+08:00

I have always believed that the basic premise is to capture “Truth” in writing. More important than “Truth” would be to capture “Soul” in writing, in Life. A sort of “justice”, a “moral responsibility”.

In a postmodern world, “what you see is what you get, no more”. Sensationalisation. Dramatisation. Projection. Production. Pretention. Presentation. Imagination. Idealisation. Creation. Fiction. To serve a function. Nothing wrong with that. As long as we are aware where it’s coming from.

So I say, let’s take it with a pinch of salt. “Truths” these days have attended yoga sessions. Contortions. Distortions. Contractions. Expansions. Illusions. Lost in Translation. Different degrees of “Truths”. In the shape of written words, spoken words, idiosyncracies, subjective perception, rumours, gossip, hearsay, “I heard”, “They said”… Last time, they said “nothing but the truth”; now, it’s “nothing but half-truth”. Virtual Reality. Artifice. Machines. Robots. Cloning. Photoshop. Makeup. Humans. Love. How much “Truth” is left and how much left is “Truth”? How do we tell fact from fiction? Awareness and Discretion, I should say.

And the Truth is…

Camp

2009-02-15T21:38:00.007+08:00

On courtesy, i'm just informing you good people out there viewing my blog that I'll be on camp for a couple of days. Okay, 3 days to be exact.
From 16th Feb-s8th Feb afternoon. Gee, if camp don't rock, please don't have it to suck.

As an extraordinary photo disguised the ordinary, play me a heart song somebody.
Evan my music advisor is not only a web genius, a photographer but an awesome player as well. He may kick my butt for saying so...
To him he was screwing around on an out-of-tune piano but to me he could have been playing a grand piano in a concert hall full of people. Music to my ears. your problem is just a complex sense of inferiority that you really need to bud buddy.

~The sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can~

"An apple is an excellent thing - until you have tried a peach."

I don't trust my feelings, to put it simply, I don't trust you
Will I know it’s you
Or will I pass you by
Will I know the truth
When I see your eyes
Are you the right one for me
Or wll I be better off alone?

Loosh

2009-02-13T22:27:00.001+08:00

Parts we're taking on,

violin: me
cello: Joe
piano: Meghan
guitar: Devin
bass: Matt
drums: Ev

Pay attention and please imitate your parts well! Our goal is to be perfect at this piece before the 2nd last week of February people! Actual rehearsal is the last day of February. Happy yelling :)

revolves

2009-02-08T18:25:00.005+08:00

Moving on to the 2nd week of junior college. Time seems to crawl waiting for my lesson time. It's completely mental, I've to totally wait for 4 hours straight after flag raising before my first lesson, then it's home time. Plus, time seems to speed up to a hyperventilating race during lectures. Scribbling frantically taking down notes. Well that's an eye-opener to pre-college life I suppose.
I'm currently preparing for my violin practical and playing some leisure songs. Top of the list for leisures is Bohemian Rhapsody, a long adaptation from Queens. Improvising a prelude before entering into the main tune with a little assistance from Joe my music man cum pianist.

Really looking forward to the mini March vacations. Which means back to PRCS for a cheesy reunion. Gonna ask Liyana to join me along this definitely-to-be -awesome trip along with some others as well. I am absolutely trilled by the thought of bringing my violin and playing for Mr Leung again! ^.^ He better miss my playing muahaha! No more mysterious sounds of the violin coming from the corner of the deserted Audio Library or unfathomable tunes gushing down the hallway and stairs to the first floor during my absence. heehee

Went to a fish-farm with Joseph on Saturday. He's thinking of decorating he's already aqua-like room with something to make it look even more so H2O. Oh well, setting off at 4pm in the evening after our violin class grabbing a quick bite of burger.
All in all, we adopted 5 goldfish and about 10 punie small fishes with incredibly beautiful tails! Along with a huge bowl, some seaweed and bubble maker. Less than $100. Great, we're in budget. However, we forgot all about the food. How sadistic can we get?
Went out as soon as the sunlight start filtering into my room to the market to run some errands today. Getting fish food along the way for the then ravenous fishes. The fishes are still swimming when I got to Joe's place. haha Good, time for sportie breakfast of freshly made pancakes and honey by Joe's mom. Yum!

Better

2009-02-02T20:42:00.010+08:00

Okay, so Tampines JC is not as bad as I thought for it's first day's impression. Maybe worse. Maybe better. Hopefully it's better than ever, duh. Who is really keeping track? It's not like i'm happy. Please. Far from it. Especially when you realised you've been double-crossed, packaged and sold out by your own Mother. Well, not like I've not had the experience of being sold out by a friend this holiday. Whatever to it right?
Exasperated and probably sick to the gut for being sold out like that again. Like anybody would care!
In my promising attempt into the Twilight saga, I'm proud to announce that I have successfully completed New Moon in less then two weeks! Tremendous achievement to me for that.
Going to Raymond's concert at Victoria Hall this March. He's made it to Principal Violist! gonna affiliate to the orchestra, since all musicians know that their ultimate goal or "safe" goal is to have a place in an orchestra after they in a way or another graduated---common sense.
Anyway, I'm plotting my steps out of that school and hoping to get into somewhere fresher. Temasek JC would be ideal, hopfully and do well in there to get myself adminstered into NUS in the scrutinizing 2 years. Please don't deny me.
May extreme luck rides with me!

Yours from Junior College,
Whoots!

Last trip before school terms, destination: Indonesia

Wherever I go, my violin goes too

The wall in the "hotel"

Misty forest----Twilight!!!!

I stayed up the whole night trying to capture the scene of twilight time

M bought this key at $S4.50! Cheap cheap XD

Highschool Girl

2009-02-01T21:16:00.006+08:00

This is my very first post for 2009'. Okay, so i'm finally going to school and a Junior College at that. Finally an official highschool girl. I should be over the galaxy by now. however not quite so though. I got into Tampines JC by the way. Don't love it, don't hate it just fine with it. Whatever it is, i'm already appealing for Temasek JC already.
Went for the Chamber Ensemble audition last fateful Friday with my bestest buddies through all the stagefrights and bitterness and embarassments and craziness ....(thick & thin to be shortwinded) may I present:

Liyana & Rachelle. (they love me till dealth heehee) Can't thank you guys enough!

Anyway, it went pretty well, to me at the very least. Geez I really hope I get in there, I'll work hard! I Promiseeee!
I'm starting school tomorrow, not officially yet since it's just the Orientation boogies and stuff. Hanging around in mixed feelings are the words. I'm not really the orientation ice breakers kind of girl, usually it still have it's hangovers for a week or so.. .. .. ..
Missing some of Pasir Ris Crest's mentors already. Marvin (Robert) Leung, Ms Henry, Ms Mimi, MoyMoy, Mr Collins, Ms Low, Mr Shafie, Ms Cheong even Mr SASHIMI as well! You have no idea how I itched to sleep in his class agan. Omg! XD
Okay, let's not get all mushy and gross out extensively. "It's the thoughts that counts" muahaha (quote from Jordan)
Well, I suppose I'll just end this entry for now.

Till again,
Cheerios!

reading

2008-12-31T15:11:00.003+08:00

Hey! Im back on blogger again.
I must say im going on a reading streak these few days, kinda surprised myself for being to keep my head in those novels. Ok, this may sound a little slow or whatever, but I'm just in the midst of reading Twilight----After watching the movie. But the up part is that, I actually getting to like reading thanks to that. So thanks Ms Meyer!

Anyway, I only went to Golden Village to watch the actual movie after I would like to imagine, the whole world have done it! I heard loads of .. well, you can call them rants and injustice by many rabid readers that loads of scenes had been cut out in the miserably short 1h1/2 film. Oh, but so what? When the sceneries in the movies are totally awe-captivating?

Anyway, which brings me to be thankful to not have read the novel first before watching the film so as not to have to obliviously join into the malcontent crowd. Phew to that!

Anyway, I did remember promising to post the cruise pics soon, but im for once not in the mood for posting lengthy picture post today. Patience is a virture.

2008-12-26T15:27:00.002+08:00

I've only got 3 dollars left in my hands,
I walk down the side walk
as I pass a dirty man
Walk up the staircase that leads to my hotel
I'm living in a fancy hotel.. yea yea
then I’ll go up to my room
fixate on what’s the deal
I’m alone again
then I will crawl into the bed,
and call you up to tell you off

Cause I’m on my own,
wouldyou leave me alone
before I lose my mind
because you lied and so did I
Oh oh oh would you cry-y-y
if I let you go tonight if Ilet you go tonight

I’ll probably wake up a little sad
but then I’ll get up and let go of it all instead
because really it’s not worth it
to get in a mess over him
to bother get stressed over him
so I’ll just go on with my life
and fixate on everything else but you
yea I’ll just go on with my life
I have no reason to please you anymore

Cause I’m on my own,
wouldyou leave me alonebefore I lose my mind
because you lied and so did I
Oh oh oh would you cry-y-y
if I let you go tonight if I let you go

So find your way out of my sight
I know it’s hard, don’t play this game with me

(Some of you guy might guess who im talking about) XD

2008-12-25T21:31:00.005+08:00

Interview for/of Music-Nerds

Let's start of fresh shall we?

1. What instrument/s do you play?
Ans: Violin, cello

2. If you had a choice, what would you rather play?
Ans: Violin, im devoted

3. How old did you first learnt it?
Ans: 8, I guess

4. Your first breakthrough?
Ans: age10, when I participate and won in my school's talent quest

5. Greatest achievement?
Ans: Getting gold at Esplanade Outdoor Theatres competition this year

6. Attended a music school?
Ans: Don't love it, don't hate it, but never taste it

7. Still schooling?
Ans: Yup, im a "good" student ^0^

8. What do you do for holiday jobs?
Ans: I took up every single gig regardless the pay

9. What kind of set-up do you wish to play in?
Ans: I would love be featured solo in rock and jazz bands

10. What music genres are you trained in?
Ans: Classically-trained

11. What music genres do you like?
Ans: Classical crossovers but not so much of the drums being emphasized

12. Who do you dream to tour with?
Ans: Josh Groban, David Garrett

13. Do you write your own songs?
Ans: Yup, whenever wherever~

14. Where do you get your ideas from?
Ans: I draw alot from classical foundations and elements

15. How much money do you have Now?
Ans: I've got $3 left in my hands

16. Who is your no. 1 writer?
Ans: T.S Elliot

17. What piece do you wanna accomplish next?
Ans: Paganini's 24 caprices

18. Music idols?
Ans: Beethoven, Tchaikovsky

19. Music you're listening to now/last heard?
Ans: "I love the both of you" by buddy Evan ^^ (be SOOOO honoured XD)

21. Reveal a disturbing music hobby.. .. PLS?
Ans: When I've got all the time in the world, I would go around everywhere into every single music store that sells string instrus and try them all out! I'll bring my own violin along and compare those in the shops with my own. Usually walking off after trying almost all the very EX violins and cellos the shop could offer leaving the poor salesman to wrap it all up. Big Evil~~~~
(cause my is incomparable heehee)

22. What is the deepest dream in your heart to become.. .. .. ..?
Ans: I just wanna play the violin and play it for people

Tagged: Joe, Evan, Liyana, Parvarti, Dmitri, Kass

Merry Christmas Eve!

2008-12-24T20:27:00.004+08:00

Yup, it's Christmas Eve and im having a blast over at my cousin's place. Turning the house upside down with our madness. Piggy-bagging on Erik was the coolest thing ever! I can touch the roof! Wheee! Not so short now eh? Unfortunately, im down with fever the whole afternoon so I kinda missed out on the preparations aka (eat & prepare XD)

Photos of the Cruise will be updated next time I come back on here. As for now, it's time to PARTY in hopes that Santa would soon be here! ;)

Maiden Voyage Day 3

2008-12-21T15:36:00.005+08:00

I finally got my hands on a computer in the Library on my cruise ship and so I'm back into civilisation. It's the 3rd day since im on board Starcruise Virgo (I also happens to be a virgo too!!!!!) and since we're not stopping at any of the islands on our way in the Indian Sea, it's getting a little stale. Not that it isn't good from the start, but the fact the lack of activities for my age group is fustrating me XD

I am officially NOT allowed in the Casino Oasis since the passengers have to be over the age of 19 to be in there. There closes one of my doors for winning Big $$. It has therefore left me with no choice but to sneak in under suspense and intrigue to have to resort to playing police & theft games with the security guard.

For an update, I've lost $125 on my 1st night and earned my keepings of $358 which results in.. .. .. .. you guessed it, I did won a nice $200+. Enough to support me in my further pursuit in mastering the art of mahjiong playing, disciple of my Aunt Xiang. Let's wonder how my luck is for tonight in winning a nice stack of cash for my journey back home tomorrow and maybe support me in further trips and movies with you guys!

Tomorrow's my last day on board this maiden voyage and I must impress that I hope I never needa get off it. These few days has been like a treatment fit for royalties, seems like there's no more worries for the rest of our days on board. I like standing at the baranda staring out into open nothing and feel the wind in my face and the splash of salt scent in the breeze. Ahhhhh, it feels like a mecca of heaven it is.

Pictures of the entire cruise tour will ne posted SOON~. No promises and since I've a closely bonded "sister" with me, we took alot of random shots.....doing random shit. I also got myself new tattoos! Afew tats actually and they rocked HARD! I spent my entire afternoon in the Baloo's tattoo Saloon selecting tats! Well that's partly because there were so many to choose from the booklets and my fickle side kicked up.

My guy cousin just got his nails done at $4.50 per nail!!!!!! That's the shit! I chose the designs since he lost in our game of Jenga last night, but I honestly didnt think he'll be a "man of his words" for that. Especially when it involves 10 fingers which is $45! Yawns, really dopey right now after my jacuzzi passage and getting myself totally red and tan. yipee! I was hoping to turn reddish in colour after the long dip in the outdoor jacuzzi.

This Library is getting uncomfortably quiet till the point that I feel totally embarassed typing a little louder and faster. They say : an empty room can be so loud. I finally understood that proverb. Accept for the fact that it's crowded in here just freaking quiet still~ Oh well, at least the view from where I'm at is awfully stunning with the sea just out the huge glass window pane im sitting beside now. Ahhhh that's what I call living it up!

Oops there goes the announcement for teatime! I should better dash before all the delicious jams and berries gets fished up by those hungry hunters of the deck.

Yours from Star Cruise Virgo XD

Starbucks Coffee mania and Twilight Mafia

2008-12-18T11:21:00.007+08:00

Goth

Try harder if you wanna get sneak-takes next time of mua! haha
Reading my text messages XD Cell phone downloads are .. .. .. .. ..

See what I mean that I've got loads of coffee from Starbucks? Thanks but I know you people would have expcted me to bring some of them to the studio and share it with the others right? XD Caught' cha! Nice "business" display over at my aunt's place
Starts off with one, that's how it went

Now I did tell some of you guys that I love Coffee but hates getting my teeth all yeeky yellow. But I LOVE COFFEE! Ok, so im WEIRD~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Anyway, since 2 days ago, I've been receiving mysterious bags of coffee packet from Meghan, Parvarti, Beth and Joe. So it's not exactly mysteriously yet for the fact that my kitchen is turning into a starbucks coffee bar. Whee! I can open for business right in my own territory. XD
So, no.. .. .. .. my punie kitchen needs space for itself to breath so I've devided to move most of the packets of coffee to my Aunt's place. Since I drop by ever so often after violin class, her place can be my temporary stash.

Im so gonna watch TWILIGHT soon. Better yet if there's a cinema on board the cruise. My couz better be right about that heehee. Didn't catch it as I supposedly wanted to cause im still unpacked and like I said im a heaper.
Drawing out a list of allthe things i need before nightfall and scramble to pack it all together. Geez, gope my build-a-bear teddy fits in miraculously somehow.

There & Back Again

2008-12-17T00:28:00.006+08:00

it's that time of the year.. .. .. .. my tiny tree in my tiny room

The past few weeks has brought me new adventures, life experiences, enthusiasm and most of all gratefulness. Yup, funny though it might seem, but I am grateful for all these wonderful things I get to see and touch as well. As the old scores for genuises might say, "seeing is believing" XD

Anyway, since being asked alot after my return if I ever got home-sick
Ans No, not really heehee. No kidding
: For the most part, my goal on the road is to be as domestic as possible. It might seem strange that a tourist aspires to domesticity, but if I didn't do that, I'd feel detached from my surroundings. This way, my life continues on a relatively normal track, with a measure of regularity, even though no two days are alike. In the list below, I've decided to illustrated the 11 ways I most frequently pass the time in a hotel room, in no particular order.

1. Play my violin (since I always bring it along wherever I go)

2. Cook up cup-noodles

3. Change the strings of my violin and polish the whole she-bang up

4. Blog (if one has connection and labbie)

5. Draw (even though it seldom make any sense at all)

6. Memorize anatomy charts (just getting started)

7. Jump on and off the cushy bed

8. Call for room services (for FOOD duh.. you get hungry easily in the hotel room, it always have a way to make me wonder to FOOD haha)

9. Do hand stands

10. Take pictures out the window (explains why I've got so many out-the-window shots)

11. Watch TV

Anyway, Ev's off to Big Apple New York to get some guidance from his previous mentor since he found himself a little lost lately as we all know that our mentors have a wa yof seeing our flaws and it's the only way to grow. As I was having myself a drink at Marina Bay I recieved an unexpected email which comes with a photo and joke.

"The role of Vice President... it the most insignificant office ever devised by the mind of man"- John Adams from Evan L

Before that he's a Jo's Crab Shack - Willmington
Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

TWILIGHT! I wanna watch XD

Ev living it up in NY with his folks. Happy holidays!

Waxmen Sergey!

2008-12-12T12:31:00.001+08:00

To fall in lover all over again with Sergey! =)

Recollect

2008-12-12T12:03:00.005+08:00

Im the King of the World! (and I wear the pants XD)

Sticks Stacks, forest magic

Hotel room at 8.17am. Meg and mine beds

Waiting Boooos.. .. .. .. waiting to go out for lunch, hungry~

Ev and I woke up early enough to make our very own fairy-bread as Thanksgiving present for my huge family.

Frosting

Thanks giving main course, a stuffed turkey XD

What more can I say~

I haven't got over the teddy fever

New shoes, Jeff and Mua

Hearts for our teddies to love

Temptaionss killsss

Sergey

2008-12-11T22:09:00.001+08:00

Bugs

2008-12-10T21:11:00.003+08:00

I have a sneaking suspicion that one day I will fall off of a stage. I don't know where or when or what the circumstances might be, but I find it difficult to believe that I will not without once losing my footing and plummeting into the audience. Though, I hope it never happen with my Precious in hand.

There was the time when I skated across not one but two freshly waxed landings in new heels during curtain calls in full view of a gasping heartthrobe. I have tripped on concert gowns till my knee bruises. My heels got jammed in small floor gaps as I performed. Once, blinded by a spotlight, I marched straight into a velvet drape. The floor space I'm frequently given to tread on and off-stage is no more than 12" wide, on slick surfaces with a full dress obstructing my view.

So that's pretty much what formed the one-sided fight between me and all the draped gowns. Made it through the competition which is much more of a drag to finally realised that they're all for the hunt for singers and not violinist. Fuck! At least I got a gold for my own category. Which is nothing more than a paper.

Oh well, it's much valued experience and on my rail as a violnist. ^^ (must be +ve) Thankful to have a glimpse of what a world it's like out there, not stereotyping, just what a glimpse I see. Geee hope people are nicer out there.

Pictures will be posted another

Today also brought some comedy, as Joe and I arrived at the rehearsal space for the Christmas eve performance with directions to a studio that didn't exist, with our contact person, Jonas out of the building and Mentor unreachable by cell phone, and not a single person on site aware of who we were or what we needed. After an hour of conversations in "Hindu" (what I thought I must have said XD) that ran something like this:

"Can I help you?"
"I'm here for a rehearsal."
"With the opera?"
"No, I'm Min and this is Joe my pianist and – "
"Who?"
"Im a violinist and our Mentor made arrangement for us to rehearse here today."
"I don't know who you are-"
"It's me."
"I'm sorry, I can't help you."
"I know."

After roaming about with messy directory, a man who worked there and claimed he knew us found us a solution . That solution took the form of a ballet studio in the basement, with an upright piano that probably hadn't been tuned for a couple of months. On the keyboard in plain view lay a single very short, curly dark hair. Joe squealed and ran for it! (a box of Kleenex haha) On the plus side, at least it air-conditioned heeee.

We worked in that space for approx. 3h? A full hour before our rehearsal was scheduled to end, the guard arrived to lock up. He was gracious enough to allow us to stay the full time we needed and sat listening with crossed arms for a couple of minutes. I got the distinct impression that this was not because he was enjoying it, but rather wanted us to feel the urge to leave.

coming up: Esplanade Outdoor Theatres

2008-12-06T15:42:00.003+08:00

Getting myself geared for my Quarterfinals competition for Violin tomorrow at the Esplanade Outdoor Theatres. Emotions? : I don't feel much, Gosh, am I sick or what? >< Gee, hope I make it cross this towards the next circle and hopfully into the winner's circle so I can make everyone I love & loves me back so damn proud!

And for one thing, I'm a heaper. My idea of unpacking is removing from my bags all of the items I won't need for my next trip (cruise) and placing them in a chaotic mound next to the suitcase, then getting around to putting them away a couple of months later. I'm working on a better system, for the sake of houseguests. When I'm in a hotel room, I never use drawers or closets, it's too easy to forget what's where in a flurry of post-excitement packing. I simply lay things out on the spare bed, where I can see them. I only take out what I need.

Now, I'm gearing up for January and, with it, the start of the new mugging/concert season. I'm practicing, emailing, making calls, memorizing music, ordering extra violin accessories and pizzas, and planning and scheming. I always start with such good ideas, and then life takes over. Maybe with the new year, with everything in its right place, a few more of the ideas will come to fruition.

This begs (or not) the question: Is a concert divided 500 ways instead of 3,000 more potent? Or is a crowd of 3,000's enjoyment magnified by the proximity of so many people focused on the same thing?

Okay, so I'm weird. XD

trips. laughs. lessons. experiences

2008-12-02T15:32:00.008+08:00

It was that hummous sandwich.

It was the wretched hummous sandwich that did it. 1/2h after yum-gobble, i was collapsed on the airport bathroom floor, retching and heaving, wondering what i had done to so greatly offend the powers above. About an hour (and five treacherous bowls-full of bile) in, i almost passed out.
"Passenger Hermione Sng Min Yee, GA flight 115, please report to gate 10 immediately. This flight is closing in five minutes."

Oh, the drama.

A prolonged moment of self-pity - what if I should lay here, very quietly, amongst the vomit and tears, and simply wither away? Would my family sue starbucks over the out-too-long hummous? Would a bathroom attendent eventually find me, assume i was a bratty hungover kid - "girls gone wild, too many tequila shots, typical teenager" - poke at my lifeless body with a mop, then call in airport police?

I gathered my things and ran gatewards, throwing up a little in my mouth the whole way. Onto the plane, into an airsick bag, and as I was reaching for a second - the virgin mary appeared in blue and white uniform, perfect hair, mauve lipstick.

"not feeling so great, are we?"

"isn't it written all over my face?"

"water for you. and perhaps we'll move you closer to the toilets?"

"kafnahfchsfjhfnnskfnfjfs.. .. .. .. .. thanks"

They babied me, Mary and her compatriots. I would wake from fitful sleep, green and bursting, and there they were, bags in hand, making way to the bathroom, offering rolls and coca-cola and comforting murmurs. They didn't make fun of me once - though two other guys did, downing kir royales and greeting me with giggles and "don't like to fly, do ya?" every time i came banging out of the lavatory, dizzy and sniffling. meanies! screw 'em. flight attendants rule the world (up there) and they had my back. they even gave me a toothbrush, so i could scrub the icky bits away.

I made it and touched-down in one piece. one much lighter piece, one significantly sheepish and decolourised piece, but one piece nonetheless. For all the times i've traveled, i can't say i've ever before hugged the flight staff upon plane exit. I was thrilled to be alive. they seemed to think it was cute. (i hope i didn't get any puke on them.)

Matzoh ball soup.. .. .. .. taste funny.

I gotta say, this isn't my 1st flight alone to meet up with my cousins or any relatives, but it looks like it's just one of those kind of days.

I've always wanted to read the last instalment since I bought it last year, but time didn't permit it, but now..... temptations kills XD Reading while traveling, I love this bookworm way!

Got them at a local soveneir shop in Czech.

Pack up & leave again

2008-11-27T22:05:00.023+08:00

I'll be randomly selective, I'll have all the Prom stuff, Aus stuff, Bear stuff, Gig stuff, Gym stuff up "SOON" :S

Ev maybe the bestest guitarist, producer, music advisor, pal, in the Whole Wide World, but he sure is the goofest of his profession

It's just like.. .. .. ..

I got tipsy. Constance: You going home?
Me : Go where?

Constance: Home?
The gang, but whose the Leader? Hmmmmmmmmm

we're Ladies & Gentlemens for a night till the clock strikes 12.. .. .. ..

Ev build-a-bear too! presenting: Turkey!

Buddie is MINE! Get your pawws off. Oh yes, I am curretly loving and playing "Meditations from Thais" on my Violin and I mastered it all while traveling! Pretty cool isn't it? heehee

When it cant stop raining and you're too lazy to get your butt out of the hotel..

do something Nice for your teddies. Tada!

see what I meant by random posting?
Cons, mua, Mr Leung

i took this as remembrance before it gets too "insightful". Im living in a fancy hotel. Whoots.

Aww its actually creeping me out! it looks alot like Sarum from Lord of the Rings 3 doesn't it?

Here's a short update and polaroids of my vacation to Sydney will be loaded "soon". XD Im currently packing up my stuff back home and ready to leave for Czech with my extendedly extended family plus my pal Evan on Saturday. He should seriously try to sell himself being successful persuading Dad to let him tag along with us. Ok, exagerated but he needs to gag once in a while. There's been a slight delay of schedule, but it's all good. Better than Mumbai and Thailand the least to say the most. Australia is fun, unbelievably HOT and "hero-venturess". Insider joke. Wrote a couple of songs as well getting inspiration from being stuck on the hotel for a day because of the rain that makes me go dopey. Told you I love the rain that makes me wanna snore. The labtop is going incredibly slow today but as they say, thanks-giving ....and we need to at least show something to humour Aunt Rose after eating all that Turkey!

SHIN! I just wanna have your name up under a moment of impulse. hehee I love talking to you. We see this world and why do things always gotta be so complicated for our young hearts to bear. Shin! Get me away from this immorality. I've been doing alot of thinking, fixate on what's the deal with this social ladder. I have no reason to settle this with a compromise.

I've got a question, would you still look at me if I've only got 3 dollars left in my hands? It's a simple question, but inside would you falter?

a Day with Dad

2008-11-22T16:02:00.014+08:00

Yesterday was an Adventure~ Went to United Square to attend the International Performing Arts Championship Roadshow Audition. It went pretty well, hopfully. Accept for the fact the mic fell on me. Damn mic. Met new people and made new pals duh! Chelsea & Kelsea, Austrian twins are absolutely a pleasure to be with! They're ever so encouraging in any state of situations which goes with the "Purrr Purrrr Muax" theory.

Jonas, the awesomely active organisor is appallingly AMAZING. He got me feeling comfortable with the set just before the show during soundcheck, which is really if not extremely important before the show for jittery janglely peeps like meself.

I finally got my very OWN Build-a-Bear Teddy!!!! Wheee FINALLY. It's like my Dad and I were looking around and we saw their kiosk and he goes like "the bears look pretty nice, wanna have a look?" and I was like "OMG YES!" So after my audit, there I went straight to the kiosk to get my furry buddy made fresh from the oven. Err, I meant fluff machine. Anyway you get my point.

I simply love it's Cubby Castle and im like totally staring at it right now as I blog in my bedroom. Before Selena, the assistant gave me my bear to take it home with me, she made me take this "oath" which goes like this : My teddy is Special. I brought it to life. I chose it. I stuffed it. I made it my own. I promise to love it and give it a home. She's really sweet.

Steps to making your very own furry teddy!

Step 1: Choose me
Step 2: Hear me (build-a-sound message)
Step 3: Stuff me (do a hug test to make sure it's stuffed just right)
Step 4: Stitch me (fill it with good wishes and a stitch heart)
Step 5: Fluff me (pump it up and brush it)
Step 6: Dress me (fin the Pawfect look)
Step 7: Name me ( make a personalised birth certificate and ID, and find it's way back when it's lost)
Step 8: Take me home (walk out, hand-in-paw in an exclusive cub-condo carrying case Aww)

It's a curiosity how Selena followed all the "rules" and make me kiss the heart haha. I suppose this is what the experience of the phrase "im lovin' it job" really meant. (Giving your heart and soul into everyone one of the same enthusiasm coming together to create something that portray a scene of complete delight!

Finally got my new swimsuit! Now I can go swimming on my cruise with a new pair of chill black degreed goggles. Whoots! Im astonish of the price of swimsuits these days. $89.90 for a swimsuit and $49.90 for goggles? I feel the pinch in my pocket just typing this down XD

Guess who? XD

Jonas and I

My teddy is Special. I brought it to life. I chose it. I stuffed it. I made it my own. I promise to love it and give it a home. ^^

Factory

Birth certificate

the Cubbie Castle

be a Beary Beary Bember

it's Official, I'm fleeing the Country!!!!!!! Whee!!!!!!!

2008-11-19T17:32:00.006+08:00

Whee!!!!!! MY crazy Schedule. Sorry guys, for missing some of your dates

This Friday: I'll be going for my Competition Audition wish me luck guys!

Saturday: I'm running away from this hell of a city and flying to Australia. (Back by Monday I think)

Thursday: Gone again, this time to Czechoslovakia. I was told it is a divine imitation of fairytale land. Whee

I've not idea when I'll be back though, maybe 2 weeks or less. Than I'll be taking my long-awaited 1 week cruise to the middle of the ocean, Escape! Gee, hope what Junyan said about that comic Not come true or i'll starngle him if I ever come back (the freakin' island eeyer)

I'll than be flying to Paris with my cousins and some of the violin dudos to check out their awesome new violin shop! Rumoured the best of them all. Than it'll be wardrobe updates to come.

I'll also probably be taking a train XD or something to Ireland to join their Annual Fiddle Camp to learn some Celtic Country music! Yeah! I love country stuff, just that Singapore only have Classical, closest to what I like.

All these and more, DATELESS~
So guys, pls pls don't be mad at me if I Unintentionally mixed up or missed out on dates. Have fun! But don't forget me OR ELSE!!!!! heehee

P.S: I'll be having my labtop and cellphone with me. You guys can still call me even if i'm away and I'll still be blogging all the way ;)

Went for a manicure session with Meghan, since it's all paid for by (erhmm heehee) we're GOOD. As violinists, we cant afford to keep our finger nails long, so I decided to go ahead to paint my toes instead. So I'll be seen in flip-flops alot these days. Well, long enough until the paint fades. Meg went ahead with her French manicure which she probably wont wash her hand, play the violin, or shower for an entire month! BEWARE of STINKING MEG EVERYBODY! XD

a Walk in the Park

2008-11-17T14:19:00.007+08:00

Went out before the crack of dawn for an intensified violin class. Phew. My unhealed arm gone through another series of biting torture. Man I just have to, got to make it after what I went through. (Pleaseeee ^^) Tagging along with me: Joe, Parvarti and Evan. The thick & thin buddies. heehee
As usual, I forgot to comb my hair AGAIN. How many times this year already?Countless. Anyway it'll end up messy in the midst of the afternoon even if I brush. Oh well~
Got into my Falls Season kinda outfit and head out into tender nature. The morning in the undisturbed hue of the park is always the most magical sight AhHhHhHh. Being awe-inspired today, I dugged out my old violin case and decided to give my BAM a well deserved break from the scotching sun. (After having it on my back risking the skateboard rides, the rain and storms the entire last week) Giving myself a change to the case that smell oh so familiar~~~~

The wait

Falls Season outfit? Hmm (With Parv's brown case)

Guess which is mine precious heehee

Contraband!!!! Fine $0.00

Ev got this from Japan!