FEARLESS
Hello! My name goes something like HERMIONE O'CONNELL SNG MIN YEE. I've been alive for 18 years now and i'm finally able to get my driver's license! I'm very excited about this, and generally excited by anything else that falls into the "cute" or "cozy" categories. I learned to play the violin when I was nine when I monkeyed around which derived from me having nothing else better to do. I LOVE San diego. That's where I spent 1/2 my kid life in. I nicknamed my car Merce, (short for Mercedes) where I spend most of my traveling time day-dreaming about you know...stuff...while my radio is aptly tuned to 92.4 fm. I'm a Virgo. I think that means I'm always looking for perfection. It also means my school exams almost always crashes with my birthday.I love bright colors and things that make reality seem more whimsical than it is. I over-think and over-plan and over-organize. I've been like this since I was a baby, before I could reach the top column of the fridge and and before my mom realize my gift for compulsive chatter.

I love sparkles and shopping and really puffy parrots (referring to Banbie) that are only nice to you half the time. I love setting words to songs and wearing poufy dresses all the time and staring at chandeliers. But in addition I've fallen in love with -- mismatched everything. Mismatched chairs, mismatched colors, mismatched personalities. And wishing every minute of every day that one day maybe I'd get a chance to be a successful violinist. Or something crazy and out of reach like that. ;) I love old buildings with the paint chipping off the walls and my grand-daddy's stories about his childhood. I love the freedom of alone time, but I also love things that make me feel five again. Back then naivety was the norm and skepticism was a foreign language, and I just think every once in a while you need fries and a chocolate milkshake and your teddy. I love picking up a cookbook and closing my eyes and opening it to a random page, then attempting to make that recipe.

I know I don't always say the right thing at the right time or speak up when I should, but I write it all down. And all of a sudden, I have a chance to say exactly what I meant to say in real life. Some of the things I wrote about are things my pals saw me go through. Some of the things I wrote about are things nobody ever knew about. I'm beyond excited for anyone to hear these confessions here.

And for my conclusional outburst...I really WANNA travel the world. i wanna go EGYPT for their pyramids. VIENNA for their music. AFRICA zimbabwe for their antelope park. MADAGASCAR for their monkeys. AUSTRALIA for their great barrier reef. HAWAII for their surfing and volcanos. ANTARTICA for their penguins and aurora borealis. CANADA again again again for my deer lodge and mountains and people. (((: ITALY for their pizzas and spags. EUROPE for backpackingbackpackingbackpacking! SWITZERLAND for their alps and chocs. JAPAN for their sushi & fashion. VERNICE for their water channel. OLD PARI for their romance... yup that might just be about it. (: my future boyfiend cum husband is so gonna be DEAD. HAHA. xD

I'm pretty stoked that you read this whole thing. I commend you for that. This was ridiculously long, and you probably have other stuff you could've done in the last four minutes. So to you, who have spent four minutes on me in some way--Thank you. I love you like I love sparkles and having the last word. And that's real love.
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Happy Chinese New Year!!!!!
Sifting through past pictures, as an old practise, for a new collage. How is it that whenever I come across yours, gave you the audacity to trigger some buttom inside of me once again? Oh, that awful feeling you get when you realise all the hardwork you thought you knew as 'letting go' turns out to be much more like mere 'stalling' up of emotions till a moment like this of accidental browsing of pictures of a time when there was me and you.

Or has it always been me? Me and my blind optimism to blame? Of a mess of a fantasizer with the nerve to adore you? How I'd like pretty much to know it was real, of you telling me it was true.

Maybe someday I'll be confessing my foolishness for never letting somebody else in. Somebody else that can be every way fitting and more.

Perhaps you'll never know this is for you, OF you. Many can guess, many would try, but they might end up stunned, say why: its this authentic Asian boy which many foils and perhaps best, a thousand times.
I'll say, I love the way you angle yourself towards me. Gaze with those shadowed eyes. Listened when I've got something to say.

Presently, I tell everyone we are through. That I've not a clue of much about you. Should have known better then to let myself wonder too far,knowing too well that its end is not far from the beginning itself. Here I am hoping you would some day make a re-entrance into my life and you would say [_____________] what I'd like to hear.

As much as I dislike being left hanging, however for my own good, perhaps you should stay away. Given MORE MORe More time, the feelings might just deplete into nothingness, this time, for real. Then again, have I ever proclaimed of being able of letting go of my unwanted things before?

Maybe one day- not too late a day, I'll find that soloing is also great.