Friday, June 7, 2013

Gentle Man

I said I'd never be back but I....I....just can't help myself.....

I tread carefully around you, perhaps a little too well for such a klutz. I sneak a peek by da corridor hoping I catch you coming outta your room for a stretch, getting a little braver, I walked closer then stepped back and walk quickly back to my room. Always pushing da envelope but never quite breaking it. Sometimes I'd get a glimpse of you sitting on by with your bros, othertimes I can't help sitting on that same spot there thinking about how nice that would've been, and one time, I caught your tear mixed between those of your perspiration.

I'd like to believe we're both curious, but cautious and not quite rude or gutsy enough to pry. So we waltz across ballrooms of nothingness, artfully maneuvering through forbidden spaces, pulling in close then slipping appart as da music orchestrates. We never seem to let on enough to let anyone in, yet we long to be found within subjectively-obvious hints. There's something crazy in there isn't it?

Now that everybody's probably all moved out. I too try to move on. Though it seems this stubborn heart kept clinging on to this space, like a ghost lingering around with unfinished business. Maybe one day, I'll come back, even more grown-up, ready to excavate this room of stolen memories. Maybe I'll never be back, bade a proper goodbye, locked da bolt and never turning back, never wanting to reminiscent on da beautiful memories which breeds misery of having let you past by without letting you know that I cared. Or da kind of impression I left on you that weren't favourable or maybe I never crossed your mind at all, easily forgotten as da somebody who was nothing more than that wallflower in da peripheral. Or a brazen dreamer who worked up da nerve to adore you.

I only wanted to say, I'll never forget. I'll never forget how scared I were da day first I met you. I'll never forget how you saved me from an awkward beginning by taking da longer route though I'd have otherwise forced myself to climb up. As we talked, I'll never forget how your smile touched your eyes whenever I plucked up da courage to look at you. I'll never forget da surprising moment when I realised that I've gotten so used to you that blindfolded, and after a couple of switched hands, I was able to recognise da touch of your palms held out in front of me, daintily holding on to mine as you lead me to my 20th surprise. (With dainty being probably da least likely adjective to describe someone with a build like yours) However, I still find da contrast alluring.

Yup, that's it I guess. I'll miss you, and everyone here, but there's always something seductive about pressing flowers in da next page, no? But if ever you remember, please stop and think of me too.

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