The thought of having to go into the night with little sleep is enough to make me weep these days. The thoughts of doing badly for exams when I obviously know how to do those questions are RIDICULOUS! Math class today, my Math teacher asked if we had questions about our tutorial. Believe me, I seriously did know how to do but instead she askd "you REALLY did this all on your own without discussion?" Promiscuous, total disbelief is writtten all over her face. But can I blame her? My results sucked! How can I fault her for my own lackings? But I being easily emotional, I felt discredited from my own "achievement."
It's late, and i'm off to bed, but before I end this entry off, i'll like to answer Cheyne's question from the afternoon: do you have a song stuck in your head like all the time?
Ans: Yes!
I wake up singing "Music Again" every morning, I think its the soundtrack to the dirty dreams I almost always have ;)
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
like a moth to a flame, we're talkin' danger
Our music is what brought us together, we have connected the first time we played, that experience, I admit is one I never felt before. Though we have never played better, it breaks my heart to think that perhaps because the both of us still doubts the other and neither one of us seems to be willing to be the first to break away from that coyness to express ourselves OR perhaps its just my own naivneness to think this is mutual -he would be playing on without me.. ..
If this involves heartache, this heart will not partake. Sever the heartstrings, push my foot on the heartbrake... before it's too late. Or if this could lead to a future of flamboyance, than PLAY ME A SYMPHONY IN BLUE-- the sort of blue between clouds when the sun comes out, the sort of blue in those eyes you get hung up about~~~~
If this involves heartache, this heart will not partake. Sever the heartstrings, push my foot on the heartbrake... before it's too late. Or if this could lead to a future of flamboyance, than PLAY ME A SYMPHONY IN BLUE-- the sort of blue between clouds when the sun comes out, the sort of blue in those eyes you get hung up about~~~~
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Just so you know
Another heated up week coming to a close. It ain't entirely smooth this week, however I'd rate it 5 on a scale of 10. Subconciously, I'm torturing myself in trying to forget the less than pleasant event that took place durin CCA last night. I shall do myself the favour of not elaborating further.
A heart-to-heart talk with dearest Senior Fu Yee and my 'over-excitable' junior Charlene i must say are the best remedies for curing a defeated heart. At the brink of entertaining thoughts of giving up on what I truly loved most, there's the 2 of them to pull me back up on my feet and help me regain that little extra fortitude to march on! Where did they find it in them to be so gracious? To see myself of what I might never see? They might not feel that their words would carry such extraordinary weight, but I could not thank them enough for seeing what I dont see in myself.
Genuinely, not until now Fu Yee bringing this up, I never realise playing my instrument in school would arise in the possibilities of the negative connotations of the word: envy. I would like to make myself clear that I do what I do with the least of intentions of "showing off". More so, I wanted to experiment the many possibilities, arrangements and make-up of famous pieces. Challenging myself to not only improve but if possible achieve some sort of a breakthrough in the traditions of classical music.
I felt lucky and loved to have the best of seniors and buddys who were supportive on this crazy idea a year back when I first got to know them and how it was such an honour to have us walk on this road to CHANGE together and making thorugh the other end changing other's perception on the stereotype of Chinese music.
And sometimes a moment becomes a memory the instant it is happening. Because it is so true, so pure and so significant, you want to capture it forever.
A heart-to-heart talk with dearest Senior Fu Yee and my 'over-excitable' junior Charlene i must say are the best remedies for curing a defeated heart. At the brink of entertaining thoughts of giving up on what I truly loved most, there's the 2 of them to pull me back up on my feet and help me regain that little extra fortitude to march on! Where did they find it in them to be so gracious? To see myself of what I might never see? They might not feel that their words would carry such extraordinary weight, but I could not thank them enough for seeing what I dont see in myself.
Genuinely, not until now Fu Yee bringing this up, I never realise playing my instrument in school would arise in the possibilities of the negative connotations of the word: envy. I would like to make myself clear that I do what I do with the least of intentions of "showing off". More so, I wanted to experiment the many possibilities, arrangements and make-up of famous pieces. Challenging myself to not only improve but if possible achieve some sort of a breakthrough in the traditions of classical music.
I felt lucky and loved to have the best of seniors and buddys who were supportive on this crazy idea a year back when I first got to know them and how it was such an honour to have us walk on this road to CHANGE together and making thorugh the other end changing other's perception on the stereotype of Chinese music.
And sometimes a moment becomes a memory the instant it is happening. Because it is so true, so pure and so significant, you want to capture it forever.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I long for a Sanctuary
Watched Disney's "Hunchback of Notre Dame" this afternoon. I know its 'classic' and I'll probably be told to have "no life" when I could have gone to a movie or something, but the story sets me thinking about how certain things still stay relevant with time and how everyone longs for some place safe, and what we really want is a safe place - a SANCTUARY. 2 years in JC, 2 years of constant fear and anxiety... i got to get a grip!
On a side note, I love this portrait! the 'trompe l'oeil' painting of a violin on an inner door. Simiarly, I welcome everyone with open arms, but only one can make me open my inner door for you.
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